The more women put out, the less we're worth
If you're a single woman like me with a B.A. and a job, then you're in some trouble, missy. Did you hear? The cost of sex is down! And that is not good for us; not good at all. Let me explain.+
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Researchers Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, authors of a study called "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying," used information from four national surveys to conclude that it doesn't take long for a man to get laid in his relationship. As in, 35 percent have sex within the first two weeks, 48 percent within the first month.
If we're giving it up so easily, then the value has decreased. Conversely, sex would be at its highest price, or value, if women decided to withhold sex until married.
So what does it all mean for all the single ladies?
It means, according to the research, that we're less likely to find men who are equally educated and equally employed. It means the losers (guys who at least are 22 years-old and didn't graduate high school and don't have a job) are now in our applicant pool.
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Women make up 57 percent of college student bodies -- we have to compete with one another to find a mate. We'll have sex with a guy sooner rather than later because otherwise, the numbers say he'll find someone who will.
The researchers, and who could leave out Patti Stanger, implore that women wait.
Women need to somehow reacquire control over the direction of relationships ... Part of that, I think, involves -- and this is what some women don't want to hear -- the artificial restriction of sex until later in the relationship. You might not feel like doing that but it's for a greater future goal. Men who have sex early in a relationship feel little impulse to make strong commitments ... It doesn't sound modern and it doesn't sound natural, but I don't care what it sounds like, I'm telling you how things work.
We need to get the value of sex back up. We won't get the power in relationships back until we collectively withhold the sex and stop underbidding one another. Frankly, it seems like we're f--- ed (figuratively, not literally) because I don't see how this is ever going to happen. Regnerus offers some advice:
This is where I get a little bit controversial and people don't like what I have to say. I don't think it's in women's interest to play the field for a long period of time. It can get depressing, not only about their relationships but to see the pool of men in their 30s who are available. My advice is if you find somebody who you love and who loves you, make it work, whatever it takes! To always think that something better is down the pathway, you might be mistaken.
Oh! Terrific! Just don't have casual sex and marry whomever seems decent enough. Good grief. This study has been as helpful to me as a kick in the vagina.
What do you think of the study?
Photo via lawmurray/Flickr
Written by Lindsay Mannering for CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
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