The Truth About "Love" and "Being in Love"

There is nothing like the feeling of "new love" or "falling in love". Recognizing the connection and chemistry. Realizing that you both have much in common. Not yet knowing that you both have uncommon interest and personality traits. No problems. No complaints. More so, you both may be filled with utter gratitude for this new relationship developing. Even fearful of what may come of it. This is "new love". This is "falling in love".

"Loving" someone and "being in love" are very much different. Especially, when it relates to a dating relationship. I personally have been in a relationship where I "loved" my partner long after I stopped "being in love" or "fell out of love" with them. Eleven years to be exact. I learned to "love" them enough to allow them be who they were, though many aspects of them conflicted with mine. As the years grew and we both evolved in our personal lives, we discovered more aspects and personality traits that continued to conflict with each other. Creating the fight in us both to find the medium in it all. Pretty soon it became overwhelming. Even numbing to my heart. As long as he was alive and well, I didn't care too much else about him. I did not desire to talk to him as much or being around him. I was completely "out of love" with him. What was "new" was now "old" to the point of deterioration.

We separated, though never legally married, for four years. When the fourth year rolled around I first realized what the difference was in "being in love" and "loving" someone. So, what does "being in love" look like? I saw the images in my head. If life was a script and I had to act it out, what feelings would my character feel? I began to remember the feeling of wanting to spend every second of life with him. I remembered the feelings of wanting to just talk to him all day if I could. Actually feeling warm inside when he would wrap his arm around me. I was a great undiscovered actress. I figured I could use my passion for acting to mimic this "being in love" character. Really getting into character. Hoping that it would actually build a nice fire to the relationship. Thinking that if he too played his character 'in love" very well, it could not be lost. This, my dear reader, is where "being in love applies. The moment after "falling in love, "being in love" should follow. I had to "fall in love again' and stay there in order to "be in love" at it's core. Next-->