Things (not) to say during sex
"Things to Say During Sex" flow chart by comedian Doogie Horner may help. He categorizes all dirty talk as either "good," "bad," or "meh" (hilarious example of the latter: "Thanks for that").
More from Daily Bedpost: Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear After a First Kiss
And each phrase or term fits into a category, from religious to animal noises to swear words to foreign words to--one of our favorites--"rhetorical questions" (you know..."Who's your Daddy?"). So lion noises are good, sheep noises, not so much. And if you wanna rut like a T-Rex, then go for it, according to Doogie, though he recommends skipping the whale sounds. For the record, however, we have to say that dirty talk is largely subjective and most definitely contextual. So while we agree with Doogie that we can't really imagine a situation in which "I rule at f*cking" or "Wanna suck this sh*t?" would go down well (the latter is one of the no-no's in the rhetorical questions category), we're not so sure that we'd completely rule out "Hello vicar."
[Video: Do You Role-Play in the Bedroom?]
Image via Comic Vs. Audience
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