Three Totally Hot Holiday Presents for Couples to Exchange
By Joslyn Gray, REDBOOK
My Darling Husband,
Christmas is just around the corner, and since you normally wait 'til 4 p.m. on Christmas Eve to do your shopping, I figure it's still okay for me to give you some gift ideas. With funds being as tight as they are right now, we probably don't need to go crazy buying stuff we don't need.
Here are a few ideas I had:
Take the children somewhere. Anywhere. Just out of this house. The last time I had ten minutes to myself in our house, Madonna still had a New York accent. Ideally you will take them beyond our backyard, because I can still hear them screaming out there, and when one of the kids inevitably scrapes a knee I will end up dealing with it. I will even help you get the children ready to go outside. However, if any of them need to pee right after we get them bundled up, it's on you.
If you do this for me, I will totally take the kids somewhere for an entire Sunday afternoon of football so you can watch the games without getting beaned in the head with Littlest Pet Shops for a change.
Related: 100+ Gifts Under $50
Surprise me by doing a household chore that isn't normally on your list. You totally rock at sharing the household and parenting stuff. Seeing you do the dishes is like porn for me. But some of my chores have been extra-disgusting lately. It's really awesome that our son is learning to pee standing up, but he's not going to win any Olympic medals for aim right now. Finding the bathroom suddenly free of disturbing stains and gag-inducing odors would be a holiday miracle for me.
So I'll tell you what: You clean the bathroom for Christmas, and next time we have a blizzard, I'll get up at the crack of dawn and shovel the sidewalk while you enjoy your coffee.
Let me sleep in. Speaking of getting up at the crack of dawn, we're both totally exhausted. Between work, parenting and getting ready for the holidays, my energy reserves are at an all-time low.
Unfortunately, there's no chance we'll ever get to sleep in on the same day because there's that whole issue of feeding and entertaining the children, who clearly have no issue with their energy supplies. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if we could only hook them up to some sort of giant hamster wheel, we could solve the world's energy crisis.
Anyway, how about you sleep in one weekend, and I sleep in the next? Remember, the key to sleeping in is that the other parent has to keep the children from screaming, coming in to ask where the light green scented marker is, or deciding that our bed is Planet Hoth on their next Star Wars mission. See you under the mistletoe, babe.
XOXO, Your wife
Joslyn Gray is the author of the humor blog stark. raving. mad. mommy. She writes about parenting four fabulous, hilarious kids with a quirky mix of autism, ADHD, and anxiety.
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