Top 5 Love Lessons Learned from the Bachelorette (S 9, Ep 6)

ABC's Bachelorette will give one final rose to the guy she believes to be the man of her dreams!Each week, Em & Lo recap the latest episode of The Bachelorette in handy romantic-advice form:

  • There are no imperfect places to fall in love in the entire resort world. None.
  • Yes, yes, do take your date by the hand in the middle of some boring event, run out into a nearby secluded corridor, press them up against the wall and kiss them passionately, please, yes, do that. But just make sure you actually escape the thing you're running away from. In other words, if you're looking for privacy, you've got to achieve a modicum of it (out-of-breath camera crews in the alleyway with you kind of ruin it).
  • Re love poetry: No more rhymes now, I mean it! (Anybody want a peanut?)
  • A great tactic to undermine your opponent in an argument about love is to pick an imaginary spot up in the air to focus on, thereby belittling them with your passive-agressive refusal to make eye-contact. (Especially good if you're soused out of your mind.) This has gotta be from The Art of War, right?
  • If you work out so much that you get serious under-pectoral sweat, then you work out too much - no es sexy, not even in sunny Barcelona.