Trophy Guys: Women take over Hollywood one male model at a time

Know what would be even better than this gold tropy, thinks Kate Winslet, a life-sized, flesh-toned version. (Getty Images)Know what would be even better than this gold tropy, thinks Kate Winslet, a life-sized, flesh-toned version. (Getty …
They're setting box office records, commanding millions for a cameo and tackling the kind of action hero roles once considered a man's job. But there was always one thing Hollywood actors had over their female counterparts: arm candy.

In a world where human beings are brands and aesthetics directly impact on net worth, the trophy date is the marker of true success. George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio have made it their mission to accessorize their red carpet looks with women who are better looking and less famous. Their model minions add value to their lifestyle brand without monopolizing the attention. And nobody ever wonders whether Bar Rafaeli will break Leo's heart. The human accessory is a sign your career is rock solid and no high-profile heartbreak will tarnish it. In short, the trophy date is the gold standard in the weird famous-people rabbit-hole. And Hollywood's leading ladies are getting in on the action. Jo Piazza at FoxNews.com is calling the trend "Dating Down." I'm calling it 'mandy' (short for man candy, shorter for oh-my-god-please-don't-anyone-ever-actually-use-that-term-in-real-life).

Vapid? For sure. But there's no denying a celebrity glass ceiling has been broken. Moment of silence. After surviving relationships with great thinkers, dowdy sidekicks, or more famous men, female stars are seeking out guys that are, put simply, pretty. At least it appears that way. Like the industry's legion of awards, trophy guys are the markers of public validation and triumph. So lets look at the added value female stars are getting from their statuesque statuettes. Male objectification in 3,2,1...

The actress: Kate Winslet
The prize: Louis Dowler
Stats: British male supermodel with campaigns for Burberry, Paco Rabanne and Paul Smith under his belt.
Female equivalent: Bar Rafaeli
Romance: After a failed marriage with celebrated director Sam Mendes, Winslet turned to a man with whom she doesn't have to discuss work. In fact they don't have to talk about anything. Just look at him. Introduced through friends, the pair were first spotted in public exercising together, according to Hello Magazine. That trophy doesn't get it's shine without a little elbow grease.
Rating: 3 trophies. Is he famous? Sort of. Is he hot? professionally. Will the relationship last? Who cares.

The actress: Jenny McCarthy
The prize: Jason Toohey
Stats: His work history includes fitness modeling and a recurring part in a skin show at Treasure Island.
Female equivalent: Elisabetta Canalis, George Clooney's showgirl arm candy...with a shady past
Romance: Being the less famous faction of a power couple has to get old. That may be why the actress slash tweeter moved from Jim Carrey to a Las Vegas gym rat. She was spotted making out with the guy, who happens to be 132 percent muscle, 2 percent women's underwear. And later, she "revealed" on Twitter that she's holed up in the desert with him for the remainder of her home renovations. Keep drilling, boys. (Ew. Memo to self: hide face under blanket in shame after posting blog.)
Rating: 1 trophy. I mean, he's a Vegas showgirl.

The actress: Natalie Portman
The prize: Benjamin Millepied
Stats: Famous ballet dancer, if such a thing were possible after 1985.
Female equivalent: Christy Turlington. Remember that millisecond when Ed Burns was the more famous one? It's kind of like reverse that.
Romance: They met when he choreographed her upcoming movie "Black Swan", and have been reportedly together ever since.
Rating: 4 trophies. He's hot, but incidentally. Talented but in an obscure way. Respected but by insiders only. In summation: really, really good for business.

The actress: Jennifer Aniston
The prize: Harry Morton
Stats: Wealthy son of Hotelier Peter Morton, dated Lindsay Lohan a few years back. His cache, besides being hardly famous, and well-coiffed, is his dewy youth. He's 11 years younger than Aniston.
Female equivalent: Jemima Khan, the wealthy socialite who reportedly helped Guy Ritchie get over Madonna.
Romance: The star was spotted acting flustered and giddy during a dinner date with the younger man.
Rating: 1 trophy. It would have been two but then I noticed he owns a restaurant chain called Pink Taco.

Rating System
4 trophies: Academy Award, the biggest pay-off in terms of respect, longevity and earnings potential
3 trophies: Golden Globe, translates to big money at the box office
2 trophies: BAFTA, the British Oscars garners insider industry kudos
1 trophy: People's Choice Award, it's always nice to get an award, even if no one cares.