True Blood Sex Tips You Can Use Even If You're Not a Vampire

Anna Moeslein, Glamour magazine

True Blood returned last night (9 p.m. on HBO) with the season five premiere, and I'm pretty damn excited to have over-the-top bloodbath-y violence, wtf-just-happened plot points, and, of course, Alexander Skarsgard back in my life.

But as any dedicated TB fan will tell you, the seemingly endless amount of sex scenes really make the show. So, just for you, I rounded up the most memorable ones I could find for a little True Blood Sex Tip 101.

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Don't be afraid to get down and dirty... literally.
At first, this scene is horrifying. Thinking that Vampire Bill is dead, Sookie goes to the graveyard to cry about it and stuff. As she's walking away, his hand pulls a Carrie and comes out of the ground, pulling her under. It's traumatizing, but apparently not that scary, and the two do it right there in the dirty soil. I don't recommend something as gross as banging a person who is completely covered in dirt and risk getting it all up down there, but I do think it's hot to strike when the moment is right, without worrying about your location.

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Be um... flexible?

So, in this scene, Bill betrays Sookie (or Sook-eh, as he says) by hate-sexing his horrible ex Lorena, and then starts to--oh-my-GAWD he is twisting her head completely around-. Yeah, don't try this exact move at home, but a little flexibility goes a long way.

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A little biting is good.

...just not THAT much biting, please.

Get your adrenaline pumping.
Although broken up, Sookie and Bill come together to defend her home against an attack from werewolves. The passionate, adrenaline-filled make-up sex on the floor while heavy metal music blares is one of the more tame sex scenes in the show's history, but arguably one of the hottest.

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