Twitter Users More Likely to Cheat, New Study Says

By Ben Collins

Twitter users are more likely to cheat on you and participate in other activities detrimental to a healthy relationship, like setting the TV on fire while you're watching it and then immediately leaving the house*, according to a new survey from Mizzou.

It's only one doctoral thesis, but it's a pretty good sample size - 581 committed Tweeters (both to a partner and to aTwitter) at an average age of 29.

"Twitter use leads to greater amounts of Twitter-related conflict," the study says, "which in turn leads to (real-life) infidelity, breakup and divorce."

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Of course, there's some causation/correlation stuff to work through here. Does more time on Twitter generally mean more time on the computer, therefore less time spent doing activities together, for example? The study seems to think that's part of it.

Go outside with your wife and, hey, you might like her better. Here is your diploma, doctor! Now can you look at this rash?

There are, in fact, more reliable ways to know if your husband is cheating on you. We have listed some tell-tale signs below:

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- He's never home.

- He has lipstick all over his person when he comes home from work, and it's not your lipstick.

- Sometimes it's even on his eyeball, weirdly, and you wonder how he didn't notice that, since that must itch like crazy.

- He spends whole weekends on fishing trips even though he owns no fishing equipment, he can't swim, he's a vegetarian, and his boat is named "I Have Another Family With a Woman Named Diane."

- He is on OKCupid.

- His status on OKCupid is listed as "definitely, super-duper available at any time, one-hundo percent-o."

- All of his friends call him Cheatin' Steve. (His name is Brian.)

- He yells the name "Diane" during sex, and your name is not Diane, and when you ask him about it, he says, "Oh, Diane is the other woman I am having sex with."

- He hates the movie "Hope Floats" with Sandra Bullock.

Ways to prevent this from happening include:

- Talking to each other.

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*Not listed in the study.


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