Un-Private Parts

There seems to be a rash of unusual yet common events occurring in my life. They are strung together with a theme-a theme of disgust on my part. I am wondering if something has possessed certain men, taken a hold of them, if it is somehow beyond their control or if it is something about me that brings it on. The men tend to throw an accusation my way consistently and believe it to be me-that there is something inherently wrong with my reaction. This may be so...but I doubt it.

I have been getting an awful lot of "junk" mail and "junk" texts. What the heck is this? I mean why in the world would anyone send a picture of their privates to a stranger? And why are so many men doing this? And why-are they sending them to me?

I have even received a graphic video as a first text which I happened to open while sitting in the drive through of Wendy's with my twenty four year old son. He saw it.

"Is that a penis?" He said in shock.

I was quite embarrassed. "Um, yes. Yes, it is. Charming way to woo a woman, huh?"

"Oh wow! I'm sorry that happened to you, Mom. He must send that out to a hundred woman and gets a response from somebody. Wow...don't you respond to him at all." He insisted when what I really wanted to do was to text a string a expletives.

The man continued to text, "Did I scare you? Guess so." I took my son's advice and didn't respond and wished my cell service allowed me to block texts. I wish I could say this was the first time this has happened...or the last, but of course, it isn't.

Another man, we had talked and emailed and texted. We were planning our first date. A lovely shot of his morning arrived in my inbox. "Leave me alone now." I responded.

He replied, "Come on, Monika. Don't be a prude. I really like you."

Ha. Ha. Ha.

"Got another penis picture." I sighed as I told my Aunt Toni about it.

"What is going on? It has to be something in your profile..." She offered.

I told her I scoured my profile. I read and re-read every word. I looked long and hard at each picture. I can't find anything in it to suggest I would welcome this sort of attention. I even had a friend look it over just in case I was missing something. I explained how I had not "sexted" and had never implied in any way that I would value this kind of revealing.

Aunt Toni said that I must somehow be attracting the same sort of men. "Look for the common denominator in their profiles. What is the same about each of them?"

I told her that nothing was too similar. These men came from all areas, all walks of life, all races, religions, ages, education and professions. They came from paying sites, free sites, religious sites over the past few years that I have off and on done the online dating thing. And they have come from men I have met in real life with no connection to dating sites at all. The only thing in common was their disrespect of me and that for some odd reason, I am the one who feels humiliated. I didn't do anything, yet, I feel shame over their insistence on showing me their un-private parts.

I don't think I'm being prudish to not enjoy the view. I think, I am being prudent, to not allow someone into my life who can't keep things under a bit of control or to not be impressed by their poor photography skills and even poorer subject matter. I have nothing against and actually adore all parts of the male species of humans. I simply would rather keep private things private.

Monika M. Basile