User Post: A word to the wise on finding a partner

These days it seems that finding happiness in a partner is can be harder then winning the lottery, really how many people are truly committed to their spouse with no major issues between them? Maybe it is the little things that rip people apart but maybe it was that they were poorly suited to begin with? It would make sense rather then starting with heart matters to start with common sense and compatibility. Friends ask me nearly every day where their relationships went wrong and while I always try to give the friend answer they all want to hear in the end it is obvious they started with a poor choice and allowed that poor choice to manifest in their lives like a cancer. That is not to say that the people they picked are bad or anything but maybe just the wrong sort for them. Like the woman who wants to run marathons while her husband sits and plays XBox or the fisherman fellow who loved the pretty blond before he realized her perfectly manicured nails would not be touching a hook anytime soon, these people are not bad just maybe mix matched. Being functionally, spiritually, financially and sexually compatible must come before romance if we are to tackle sky high divorce rates, children with missing parents and tons of broken hearts. It would seem common sense to seek a partner in the type of environment you most want to see them in, if the idea of your guy playing CoD all night is a turn off maybe the gaming isle is a poor choice for a pick up spot. Age has lent its wisdom to a few undeniable truths about people and in choosing the best match, a few things to consider and if you should find one of these things about your new better to duck and run.

  • Crush has no car (I am not talking about those who do not drive by choice)
  • Crush has no home (unless street attire appeals to you)
  • Crush has no job/income (unless you like paying for everything)
  • Crush has a criminal record that prevents any of the above
  • Crush has kids and you want NO part in parenting them
  • Crush has no kids (as a permanent choice) and you want some
  • Crush has some seriously bad habits you can not live with (shoplifting, hoarding, crack)
  • Crush has a psychological condition you have not studied on an academic level (it is harder then you might think)

A wise man once said the best way to predict future behavior is to examine past behavior and when it comes to people it is very true. That is not to say people can not change but it is not fair or wise to try to change anyone. If you care for someone you are presumably accepting the things that make them unique and if what you see is a project person it is time to move on before your lives become so tangled that them changing to please you is a requirement. Be the person worthy of the partner you most want and if you are having a hard time finding the right person for you, start with yourself and the right person will find you.