Vision Boards: See It, Feel It, Do It!

What do you want to see every day?

By Patia Braithwaite for

Personal loss (divorce, death, breakup) sucks so badly because it causes our identities to shift in an effort to accommodate the change (at least that's what they books say). Our grief, and all the emotions that are wrapped up in that journey, is a reaction to the question: who am I without this person/relationship? Who is it that I hope to be?

Related: Impossible or I'm Possible: What is Your Break-Up Attitude?

These are tough questions we have to answer as we reform ourselves in a way that is healthy. We must be brave enough to look ourselves in the mirror and imagine a different life. Sounds like hard work, right? Well, one of the more light-hearted ways we can accomplish this is with vodka a vision board. Vision boards are crafty collages that allow us to fully engage the most fun part of our life goals: the part where we get to imagine and play!! And the vodka, well...that's just in case we get thirsty.

Here are some tips to get started:

Get out of your own box: Oprah's vision board expert, Martha Beck, cautions us against filling our vision board with material possessions and stereotypical aspirations (you know: the pictures of cash and beautiful clothes), While my vision board does have money on it (a money tree actually), I completely understand Beck's concern. I'm learning, as I deepen my commitment to my visions and myself, that it is safe to dream bigger. It is okay to put atypical aspirations on your vision board - they are your life goals, and they are valid. I promise the universe can handle it.

Related: Look at the Big Picture and Be Thankful

Listen to your body: Last year I was in a decent relationship (notice I didn't say "good" relationship). I was working on my vision board and I came across a picture of a bride and groom. As I cut out the picture and prepared to put it on my board, I couldn't ignore the tightness in my chest and sweat gathering on my forehead. No matter how much I thought I wanted to marry my boyfriend, my hands wouldn't let me tape that image to my board. In hindsight, I realize that while my mind was committed to making my relationship work, my soul understood that this wasn't a reflection of my highest vision. Creating a vision board is an excellent way to assess what really matters to you. Don't judge your feelings; just listen to them.

Get creative: Most vision boards (for non-crafty folks like myself) involve flipping though magazines and clipping words, images, and phrases. With that said, don't be afraid to use computer images or evern your own drawing. This is about approaching your life with playfulness and optimism.

Related: Four Fearless Artists Who Put "Art" in Their Heartbreak

Put it where you can see it: My vision board is directly in front of my bed. Every morning I look at it: I see a large picture of my unpublished book (How A Man Sees God by Patia Braithwaite), and two phrases that jump out "Good things come to those who work" and "You're a Genius All the Time." These are the first images that pop out at me in the morning, and usually the last images I see before I turn out the light for bed at night. Put your vision board in your line of sight.

So that's it! Get to work on creating the life you want. See it, feel it, then go out and get it! The only limit to what you can accomplish is what you can imagine. helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.

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Patia Braithwaite is a relationship and wellness writing from New York. Check out her blog: for more posts and ideas on healing and living your best (single) life.