Wait! 6 Essential Things to Consider Before Moving in Together

Read this before moving in with your guy.
Read this before moving in with your guy.

When it comes to love, some manic-pixie-dream-girl types like to say there are no rules. But there are definitely certain things that you should never do, like sleep with your therapist or have a baby with a drummer. The point is follow your heart but don't be a dummy.

By Rose Surnow

Moving in with your partner is not like trying a side part. It's a BFD and you should really think it through before you take the plunge. Below are six essential tips, gathered from relationship experts and seasoned friends, to consider before sharing a lease with your lover.

1. The "Talk"
An essential question to ask yourself before moving in together, is WHY? Why are you doing this? Is it out of financial convenience? Is this a step toward marriage? Whatever the reason is, make sure you are in sync. Remember on Girls when Shoshanna suddenly realized that her boyfriend, Ray, basically moved in even though they never discussed it? Let's all learn from Shosh and not let a guy twice our age crash with us because he's existentially depressed.

Dana, 34, recalls, "Before my now-husband moved in, we definitely talked about what we wanted long-term. Knowing we both wanted to live creative lives and have babies meant we had a future. So I'd say definitely go over the big things before moving in."

2. Money Talks
Like most people, I would rather watch my parents 69 than have a conversation about finances. However, if you are moving in together, you need to have an honest money chat. How is rent going to be divided? 50/50? What if one of you makes way more money? What about bills? It's not as fun as sexting, but it's a conversation that needs to happen.

Mona, 29, has been living with her boyfriend for four years now. She remembers their earliest conversations, saying, "My boyfriend makes more money than I do, so he offered to pay more in rent. But I wasn't comfortable with that. I wanted to split it equally so there was no imbalance of power over decision-making or resentment from either of us."

They've been going strong for years now because they worked it out in a way so they are both comfortable. Every couple is a freaking snowflake: Talk with your partner and find out what the best solution is for both of y'allz.

Related:Moving In With Your Guy? Read This First

3. Protect Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
"Make sure your name is on the lease!" warns Sherry Amatenstein, relationship expert and author. Sherry describes a couple she was working with recently: "They were going to buy a place together and the woman was just gonna let her boyfriend put his name on the contract and not hers. I talked her out of that in a heartbeat. It may not sound romantic, but you need to protect yourself in case of a split and you need it in writing."

4. Cleanliness is G-dliness. Or maybe not
If you've been dating long enough, you probably already have a sense of your partner's cleanliness level. If your apartment has the feng shui of a Japanese art museum and your boyfriend's place looks like its just been robbed, cohabitation is going to be a rough road. Know where you are on the Kinsey scale of clean, otherwise you'll be miserable.

When I was fresh out of college I lived with three musicians, all great guys, but the filthiest people alive. Whenever these dirt-freaks brought girls home, I was stunned. How could a woman sleep with a guy whose room smelled like a sock full of Thai food? The point is, get on the same page about cleaning before you share your space. Or make it super easy on yourselves and hire a maid. #firstworldsolutions

Related:How to Get Some When You Live at Home

5. Maintaining Romance
Once your lover becomes your roommate, it's really easy to let things get way too comfortable. You nest, you get cozy, you stop leaving the house and the next thing you know, you're friends without benefits. Make sure to maintain your own thing like friendships, hobbies, and exercise-all the things that make you, you.

Alison, 32 says, "I've learned it's about balancing your needs and leaving him out of the picture sometimes; leaving the house on your own for alone time, visiting friends or family in another city, or just going out alone. Going on dates together outside of the house is also really important; it puts you in a more romantic headspace of adventure and spontaneity. Someone told me this before we moved in, and I continually find it to be true."

6. Follow Your Gut
If there's one thing we all need to remember when making a big decision it's that no one knows better about what's right for you, than you. At some point you need to stop listening to parents, friends and even media (Cosmo not included) and go with your instincts.

Just because you've been dating for years and all your friends live with their partners, doesn't mean that you personally are ready to make the move. Alternatively, you could meet someone, click instantly and take a chance. Whatever you decide, make sure it's YOUR decision. We're all gonna make mistakes in life but at least we should make our own.

Good luck ladies and tell us how it goes! What do you think are the most important pre-move-in chats?

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