I Want a Partner, Not a Dependent


Last summer a beautiful young woman came to me. She wanted to work with me to deal with some her demons that she felt was keeping her from letting go of her ex-boyfriend and moving forward to embrace true love and success. She is a gorgeous, talented and fiercely independent young lady from a wonderful family, yet she knew that she wanted professional support to create and allow her life and love vision. Her biggest challenges to letting go and letting new love in were jealousy and insecurity.

Since I have not yet asked her permission to share her correspondence with me, I will not be using real names.

Since working together, this lovely young woman has made some difficult life decisions, found peace within herself in regards to her ex, engaged in and ended a relationship that was not ideal for her, and is now dating a wonderful man. Here is what she has shared with me as she embarks on this new path of love.

"We had a very ironic conversation last night pertaining to what you and I talked about in regards to dependency on others. He said that he'd always gone for girls that were really dependent on him because it felt good to needed. But that now he wants more of a partner in life. He's helping me to see that its OK to be doted on and cared for, too! It's funny that you told me that I am helping him to see that, because he told me that I am good for him."

I helped her see that partnerships in relationships involve giving AND receiving in both parties of the best you each have to offer each other. Partnerships are complementary to each other. Two whole identities create a shared energy of relationship.

She is handling gracefully the very challenging experience of his ex-girlfriend trying to hang on and interfere with their budding relationship.

"We are reaching new heights! He's really getting me out of my shell and has been a safe person for me to grow with."

Aah, the true expression of a healthy relationship!

This article was written by Cheri Valentine. To get more great advice from Diva Toolbox Media Diva Cheri Valentine, visit her website at: http://cherivalentine.com/