By John Ortved, Glamour magazine
I have a question I'm almost embarrassed to ask, but I'd like to know the truth. I've grown up with a chronic illness. It's nothing contagious, but when I go out, I have to use a wheelchair. I just turned 26, and I have never been asked out on a date. I'm a virgin. None of this is my choice: I really believe that when guys see the wheelchair or when they find out about my disease, they're scared silly. So, I'm curious: What do guys think about a 26-year-old woman who's never been kissed? What do guys REALLY think of virgins?
I can't speak for all guys, but I can speak for myself. I don't care. There are advantages to sexual activity with both people of greater and lesser experience. When I'm in bed with a woman who is more experienced, I value her know-how, her ability to surprise me with things she knows and I don't (or skills I haven't seen before), and her knowledge of what she wants from me.
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On the other hand, there's something to be said for the expression "there's no aphrodisiac like innocence." When I'm been in bed with a less sexually experienced partner, I value her innocence, her appreciation of the new, teaching her things and learning together.
I think the problem for you is probably similar to the problem facing many other sexually inexperienced people: not just finding someone to have sex with, but finding the right one to have sex with.
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Your health is obviously going to play a role in your dating, social and sex life. But if you're going to get the things you want, like any of us, you will need to make an effort to get out there and meet people, using the resources that are available to you.
I guess I would say this: Don't be scared, be excited.
Do you ever feel like you're sexually inexperienced? Do you have any advice for this reader?
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