What Do You Reveal (Or Keep Secret) On a First Date?

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Recently, I went on a date with a guy who really reminded me of Dr. Owen Hunt on Grey's Anatomy. Similar look, similar jumpiness, similar story (just back from Iraq, although he's not a surgeon).

The date went well, but there were no real sparks and that, plus the fact that he lived pretty far away, meant that we happily went our separate ways. But we did become Facebook friends and occasionally comment on each other's wall (ah, modern technology!)

So that's why I was surprised when I saw his latest Status update: becoming a dad today!

Later status updates confirmed that his (wife? girlfriend? ex? hookup buddy?) was in the hospital and a baby was due eminently, not that he was engaging in the act of conception with someone.

Hmm. I admit, at first I felt a little tug of betrayal about that. Why didn't he tell me on our date? That's a big deal! And then I wonder, if we had clicked, at what point would he have dropped that piece of information? Of course, the probable reason he didn't was because he knew we didn't really have a future.

But, that got me thinking about secrets-when to spill, and how to spill them. I'm a pretty open book-since I'm a writer, a guy can search my full name and find out a lot about me from some essays I've written-but sometimes I'll introduce myself by my first and middle name as if that's what I commonly go by, just to ward off any off-the-bat Googling.

But what about when you get in a relationship? I already have some secrets I don't think I'll ever tell a future boyfriend-just how many partners I've had, for one (I made a list the other night just so I'd be able to keep track!). And life only gets more complicated the older we get-so I feel like, the more time it takes for me to settle down with "the one," then, yes, the more secrets I'll probably accumulate.

What about you? Do you have any secrets? And when do you spill them? Or, have you ever dated a guy who had something he kept hidden? And how did he reveal it?



RELATED LINKS:
The Secrets Couples Keep
Don't Tell the Wife: Secrets All Men Keep
9 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man
Love Lab: Should You Tell Your Spouse the Entire Truth?
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