What Happened To Men? - Breaking Up With A Text Message

I would like to think that the world of dating hasn't changed much since my last official pre-marriage date with my darling husband. But, sadly, that is not the case.

Long gone are the days when the man initiated the relationship by formally asking the woman on a date. And whatever happened to the romantic candlelight dinners at nice restaurants that men eagerly paid for? Now it's Taco Bell and Starbucks, with the woman paying her own way. Men no longer bring flowers to their dates, and courting and gift giving appear to have become ancient relics of the past.

So what has replaced all the romance? You guessed it's.the cell phone.


Nowadays, men text. They text to ask you on a date. They text you the next day to say they had a fantastic time (or not). And they text you with silly sexy messages that are often inappropriate. But if tha's not enough, they even text you to say they are breaking up.

Remember the Sex and the City episode where Sarah-Jessica Parker got all bent out of shape because her boyfriend broke up with her on a sticky note? At least he was taking a chance that she might walk into the room, see what he was doing and confront him. Texting is way different.

With just a few taps of the fingers, a text message can literally break your heart. Having several girlfriends that are currently dating, I'm no longer surprised to hear the horror stories of their dates and the behavior of men. No, not all men are created equal. And yes, there are still some gems out there worth your time and attention. The key is to be very upfront and personal and to weed out all those who have lost touch with their pride and their manhood.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't understand any date - first, second or 20th - where a man does't pay for a woman. Yes, I've heard all the feminists say how women are equal to men and we should pay our own way and bla, bla, bla. But that kind of thinking is exactly how we got to where we are today. In fact, feminism has gotten us in all kinds of trouble. Just look at women today -- werre trying to be super mom, super businesswoman, super this and super that. In our quest to be equal, werre trying too hard to prove that we can do everything that men can do and do it better.

Enough already! We don't need to compete with men because everyone knows they aren't in our league. We know we can do everything men do, so let's stop trying to prove it to the whole world. Women are women and men are men and let's not confuse the two. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for strong, empowered women. But at the same time we need to be feminine, compassionate and loving. We don't need to compete with men; we need to complement them. In order to do that we just need to be ourselves.

So ladies, those of you who have sons, nephews, brothers, uncles, or male friends that are dating, let's remind them that women want and need much more then a text message. Women need to be courted, cared for and cherished. And if the man can't deliver on these, tell them to at least call. Or better yet, text their buddy, have a beer, and stay home.

And to all of your female friends, a great suggestion would be to simply disconnect the text option on their cell phones. If men have forgotten how to court, let's remind them (and ourselves) that women want to be taken care of in the most loving, caring way. From now on, texting is out of the question!

Yana Berlin - Founder of Fabulously40.com a Social Network For Women In Their Prime

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