What Husbands Really Think About Sex (Listen up!)

Is he bored? Disappointed? Wishing you were one of The Shannon Twins, now that they've moved out of the Playboy mansion? Or better yet, both of the Shannon Twins?

What's a man thinking while he's having sex with you for the 1,027th time? Let's just ask:


1. WOULD YOU HAVE SEX EVERY DAY IF YOU COULD?

The Guy's Eye View: Actually, not. Their desire ebbs and flows. Work pressures, in particular, hit them below the belt. They're counting their lucky stars if the dry spell ends.

* "It's definitely cyclical with us. Sometimes I get so involved in work, and intimacy is just being with her. I guess that could be too much of a comfort zone so maybe you need do push it. But we always start up again."-Jim, 44, who's in the information technology field and married almost 14 years.

* "The cliche about long term marriage is that the sex wanes, and that's that. But it waxes, too, and gets more interesting-and that's been a real shock for both of us."- John, 47, a writer and father of two, married for 20 years.

2. WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE DO THAT TURNS YOU ON?

The Guy's Eye View: You've heard the "sex is like pizza" line? In other words, sure, there are some really hot, steamy, mind-blowers, but basically all sex is good sex.

* "People say you need to spice it up, do crazy theme nights, but that's never been my thing. I certainly like that Kathy takes care of herself. She goes to the gym, and has a very nice presentation that's not for me; it's for her."- David, 42, a photographer who tied the knot 9 years ago.

* "Sometimes she'll just look at me and say, 'Sex tonight?' Then we'll tease each other throughout the day-I'll pat her on the butt, she'll give me an amazing kiss and then turn on her heel and go the other way..." -Michael, 32, a resort director with this wife of 10 years.

3. ARE THERE LITTLE THIGNS THAT TURN YOU OFF?

The Guy's Eye View: Our hang-ups and insecurities are definitely not sexy. Thankfully a man in the mood is a man on a mission.

* "Just looking at her is a turn-on for me, and I've told her that. But she can't get it through her head that if she's not perfectly coiffed, totally groomed, shaved and clean, she won't be attractive. Now if you're in the mood and you have to wait 45 minutes while she fixes herself up, that puts a pin in the balloon. So it takes a lot of the spontaneity out of it. But we work on this, hard and lovingly."-Mike, 45, a PR exec and married for 7 years.

* "I've learned how she wants me to go through the motions, the romance, the slowness, the heightened sensations before hopping into the sack. But sometimes things get over snuggly. I mean I love that when you're watching a movie. But it doesn't make me horny."- Alex, 37, an art director who's been with his wife for 11 years.

4. DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT KISSING?

The Guy's Eye View: They remember it well, but after ten years, it's not a major player.

* "We kiss all the time. But the truly exciting aspect of kissing is when you're doing it with someone new-seeing her clothed, wondering what she looks like naked, and then there's that slow and yet agonizing process of making out, fumbling. Kissing in that context is "possibility": If it doesn't go well, you back up. You're both auditioning for the part of lover. It's that great moment of, 'What's next?'" -John, the writer.


5. ANY BIG OMGs?

The Guy's Eye View: Each to his own, but men are totally game for an Aha! moment if it has to do with sex.

* "We've always had a healthy sex life, but you know that movie The Secretary? [James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal get together over handcuffs, horse saddles, and a certain chair scene.] For some reason that just opened my mind, not that we got into S&M, but it was somehow liberating for both of us, just to fantasize about different things."-Henry, 35, a physician's assistant, married for 10 years.

* "Early in our marriage we went a good three months without sex. I was getting really frustrated, and didn't know what to do. At one point I started marking the calendar-and turned out to be key. It was proof, somehow, and when I showed it to her she said, 'I get your point. I want this too.' That really broke the ice. Now, nine years later, we just look at each other and we know it's time."- Alex, the art director.
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[photo credit: Image Source]