This is Why You Can't Talk to Your Crush
By Justin Sedor, Refinery29
We've all been there. That terrible, embarrassed, can-I-please-melt-into-the-floor-now feeling that comes right after you've humiliated yourself, seemingly beyond repair and on a horrific scale, in front of your crush. Maybe you tripped over your own feet and ate it, sitcom-style, at a party, or maybe you said something you feel is really, really stupid - or you could have just said nothing at all. Whatever it was, it was quite literally the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of everything. Ever. Or, at least, it feels that way. Ringing any bells?
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Well, it turns out, it's definitely not you: There's a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation (or, more accurately, quite a few explanations) for your dating fumbles. The folks at Lifehacker have put together a pretty awesome overview of just what it is about your biology that makes you act like a big fat dork in front of someone you like. For example, the chemical response your body makes when you're into someone is remarkably similar to what happens when you're on drugs: The release of dopamine, adrenaline, serotonin, estrogen, and even testosterone can combine to make for a serious head trip when you're crushing hard.
How, exactly, can this crazy chemical reaction mess with your ability to function as a human being? Other than hindering one's ability to walk and talk, being infatuated with someone can affect the way you see yourself. Studies have shown that your brain chemistry can trick you into thinking you have more in common with him or her than you actually do.
Of course, as most of us can attest, one of the biggest side effects of a crush is some serious stress, fear, and anxiety. While these emotions can feel overwhelming and all too real in the moment, science tells us that they're actually the product of our overactive, loved-up psyches. Recognizing this all-important fact, while simultaneously allowing yourself to feel the emotions your brain throws at you, is one of the hallmarks of emotional intelligence, which itself is key to overcoming these mind games.
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