Why I’m Not Having Bridesmaids
When I pictured my wedding as a young girl (okay, okay in college), I always imagined standing at the altar flanked by my and my unknown husband's closest friends, all of whom dressed in color-coordinated attire.
By Natasha Burton
But now that I am planning my wedding for reals now, I feel like a total asshole asking people to be in my wedding. First of all, it's time-consuming: Your friends feel forced to commit to things like invitation stuffing and ceremony rehearsing. Plus it's just not necessary-does it really matter if your pals stand next to you or sit two feet away? So, I'm pretty sure that my fiancé and I are simply not going to do it.
Related:7 Wedding Traditions That Need to Die
A new poll by American Express reinforces another reason why we're forgoing this wedding tradition: Because it's damn expensive. According to the company's recent survey, bridal party members are expected to spend more money than ever to be part of their pals' special days, with the average person shelling out $577 on everything from pre-wedding festivities to gifts and wedding party attire. (This figure is way higher than last year's average amount, which was only $377, and doesn't include travel expenses to get to the wedding, which average around $200.)
Typically, the most expensive part of being in someone's wedding, for women at least, is having to buy the bridesmaids dress. While more and more brides are trying to pick gowns that their friends can wear again, only 34 percent of former bridesmaids have or plan to wear a dress a second time, the poll found.
Related:The Hot New Wedding Night Wear: Spanx
Maybe I shouldn't let these things bother me and I should convince myself that I'm "entitled" to ask my friends to drop cash (and give their time) just to be in my wedding-after all, I'd do it for them, and, in some cases, I have done it for them.
However, I feel more comfortable having friends support me and my guy on our wedding day in a more relaxed, non-obligatory way. Perhaps we will have our closest friends stand up there with us-just not in matching dresses and coordinating suits and ties. Maybe we'll do a "friend processional" before our families walk down the aisle to honor those we're tightest with.
Related:7 Ways to Actually Repurpose a Bridesmaids Dress
Whatever we decide, all I know is no friend of mine is going to be forced to buy a dress she'll never wear again for my big day. As the bride, I've already got that one covered.
(For more of my wedding-related riffing, check out my musings on wanting to convert to Judaism, what to do about changing my name, and why I don't want a personalized hashtag for my #bigday.)
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