"I just can't stop dating man after man!" one says. Blame the "JLo Syndrome!"
"I've never been single. When I try, I meet a man who wants me to be his girlfriend," another friend commented while I reprimanded her about her "JLo Syndrome."
What is the "JLo Syndrome"? Simply put, it's when a woman constantly goes from one relationship to another. Call her a serial monogamist; she is never single for long. She really doesn't like being alone. A woman who has the "JLo Syndrome" is just like Jennifer Lopez. She wants to be loved. She loves love. So she is always in love and in a relationship.
Jennifer Lopez isn't ashamed of the syndrome. She doesn't hide her face in shame, or pretend that maybe there's something unhealthy with always being in a relationship. I'm quite the opposite. I don't need to be in a relationship. I do love to be committed, but I also need a break. I need to mourn the loss of the last affair before jumping into commitment mode. I sing aloud to Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" when she says,"doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone." For Lopez, however, that's exactly what it means. She tells YourTango:
"I'm one of those people who does not like to be alone. I have no shame saying that at this point in my life. I think we have to own who we are!"
Kudos to Jennifer for being candid about something that isn't easy to admit. As modern women, we are often looked down upon if we feel we "need" a man and companionship, even when we have it all - hence joking around about the "JLo Syndrome." I began using the term in college because I disapproved of how quickly one of my friends went from one relationship to the next.
Do I disapprove now? Only if you fear or dislike being alone due to a lack of self-love. If Jennifer Lopez dislikes being alone because she feels lonely, sorrowful and otherwise unfulfilled without a relationship, that's a red flag. It doesn't mean she's wrong for wanting what she wants, nor does it mean that she should run to an ashram and remain in solitude. But Jennifer Lopez and other women who feel this need should really dig deep and ask themselves why.
Bottom line, we cannot substitute self-love. We must be "self-first" in every way. And we cannot fill a void with someone else's love. If you don't like being alone for these very reasons, take some time to mourn, figure it out, and discover your motivations and intentions. Love yourself a little more. Fill the void on your own. Do not fear being single, and overcome the "JLo Syndrome."
-Photo credit: Flickr Creative Commons
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