Now that Sandra Bullock has moved out of the house she shared with Jesse James, and Tiger Woods is finally returning to golf, we offer one man's unfiltered, unadulterated explanation. Well, maybe a little adulterated.
Head to Esquire.com for the writer's full explanation for why he cheats.
I'll tell you why I cheat. I need to. Infidelity makes me remember things. The details that expand to fill my life (my upcoming performance reviews, the aches and pains of training, the recovery of my 401(k) ) and the ones that deaden it (my guilt, my smug self-satisfaction, my fake epiphanies about my progress in this life) -all of that drops away when I look down at the naked spine of an unfamiliar woman, twisting slightly in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming onto the sheets of a Hampton Inn in some nameless suburb. This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule, and set of mores I pretend to obey. Against better judgment, against every lesson of hindsight and every shard of wisdom that comes with age, I have no regrets in that moment, because I am naked, or without pants, and I have chosen to be there. I have voted by my presence, declared it, and I feel the blood moving in me again. So it's the blood. That's who I am. That's why men cheat.
People always say men cheat because they can. It's easy to cheat, that part is true. There's so little evidence left behind. The checklists are easy -you have to wash here and there, you have to enlist the sympathy of the woman you are f--- ing, you have to control your time and select your venue. But by and large, infidelity is remarkably easy to hide. More often than not -more often than any man will admit -there is absolutely no consequence. So yes, that freedom exists. A man can.
But men don't cheat because they can. Men cheat because they must, because they need to. This is the male struggle. Need compels us to try again. Because copulation is not in any way about fate. It is not about two individuals destined to meet on some dark night. It's about random collisions.
If you cheat, you must believe this much: that fated love is a lie, and monogamous love a deception. If you cheat, these two sentiments are your guiding light. Doesn't mean you're incapable of love, doesn't mean you don't want what love -or even marriage -can offer. It's just a paradox. You have what you believe, and it is never the lie. You train your sentiment to fit inside the lie. Your rules fit right inside that sentiment.
You have to have rules. You should always f--- someone who has as much at risk as you do. The phrase You do not s--- where you eat makes more sense once you've f--- ed someone you work with. You never say the word love, except in reference to f--- ing. You don't f--- anyone too young, or schizophrenics. f--- a famous person and you tell no one. You stay away from the wives of your friends. If you have a girlfriend in a foreign city, you never travel there just for the f--- ing. These are rules learned the hard way. And there are more. I cheat without reservation. In part this is my age. In part it's a matter of where I cheat. I do not cheat in the city where I live, or even in the region. This is my rule.
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Does this explanation make sense to you? What do you think about cheating? Comment below!