Why You Shouldn't Go on Too Many Dates

Are you making this dating mistake?Are you making this dating mistake?You've probably heard that going on as many dates as possible while you're single is the way to go. But experts say that logic may actually backfire if you're looking to land your dream guy...

By Annie Daly

We know a girl as awesome as you are has no problem getting dates. And you've probably even scheduled a few dates with different guys in the same week. Hey-you're shopping around. According to experts, that's an increasingly common situation-but it's not necessarily a good one. "Social media and the rise of online dating sites have made it easier than ever to go on multiple dates per week with different dudes," explains Tammy Nelson, PhD, author of Getting The Sex You Want. "But dating too often could actually lower your chances of finding the one," she continues. Essentially, being a serial dater could come back to haunt you later on.

Related: Fun First Dates He'll Love

More Restaurants, Less You Time
Aside from the fact that you have to do laundry way more frequently (hey, you only have so many perfect date-night outfits), there are two other big reasons that going out with too many different guys too often can backfire. Numero uno: You may lose sight of yourself. "When you're spending so much time meeting men, you're not leaving yourself enough time to just do you," explains Terri Orbuch, PhD, relationship coach and author of Finding Love Again. "That's a problem because your independence is what makes you so attractive and appealing to guys in the first place. In other words, whether you're starting a new hobby, exercising, hanging with your girlfriends, or just straight-up chilling, spending time with yourself is key because it gives you more to bring to the table, which ultimately is what makes him like you in the first place.

The second reason boy binges may backfire? You're missing out on the chance to process your date. "When you're overdating, you don't have enough time to think about whether or not the guy is even right for you," Orbuch explains. Which, if you ask us, kind of defeats the whole purpose of dating.

Related: How To Date A Coworker


Your Sweet Spot
Now don't get us wrong-we are in no way suggesting that you curl up on your couch, recluse-style, and wait for the Universe to send you your dream dude. But if you're dating around in the hopes of finding a steady guy, experts do recommend limiting yourself to two dates per week so you don't fall victim to the overdating phenom. "That leaves two nights for friends, two nights for just you, and one freebie night," explains Christine Hassler, relationship coach and author of 20-Something, 20-Everything. What to do with your freebie night? We'll leave that one up to you…


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