Why the term "cougar" gives women a bad name
Debbie Nigro, a blogger at divorced women's hang-out FirstWivesWorld.com, is sick and tired of being called a cougar. It's not that she's a stranger to the appeals of the younger man--far from it, in fact--she just hates what the moniker has come to mean: "The word 'cougar' just makes it sound like older women are pouncing on innocent young men, when truthfully we are 'treating them' to the experience of wisdom and an occasional expensive dinner. Neither side in this romantic pairing initially embarks innocently and without agenda." Just look up "cougar" on UrbanDictionary.com to see what she means: phrases like "overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim" and "an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister" are enough to drive any older woman to the nunnery. Or the bottle.
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Oh, let's be honest here, you don't even have to venture out to UrbanDictionary.com. You can start right here, with yours truly. We once wrote that "cougar hook-ups often make us feel kind of sad inside." And in New York magazine last year, we said that good moms are MILFs and bad moms are cougars. In other words, Demi Moore is a MILF but Dina Lohan is just a speckly old cougar, as Gawker so memorably put it. Or MILFs are sexy librarians and cougars are mutton dressed as lamb. Consider us put in our place: We are the original cougar haters, and we are sorry for it. ...
But it's not all about the cougars, apparently "piranhas" are circling as well. Find out all about them at Daily Bedpost!
Ms. Nigro is right: the cougars deserve something better. After all, not every older woman on the make goes clubbing or dons leopard-print clothing. That's why she launched a contest to come up with a new designation for all the Mrs. Robinsons of the world. Except that "Mrs. Robinson" won't work either--she was the ultimate pouncer in leopard-print clothing. And "MILF" just makes us think of American Pie, which is no classier. We wish we could help out, to make amends for all our snide cougar remarks of the past, but we're drawing a blank. "Teacher"? Save that for the role-playing later on. "Ma'am"? It works as a term of endearment, but not as a label. What conveys the experience, the confidence, the bank account, and the wisdom of the older seductress? "Professional"? Oh wait, no, never mind. "Palin"? We don't think so. "Demi"? That just makes the cougars seem like wannabes. Would somebody please help Ms. Nigro so we can rest easy tonight?
And while you're thinking up a new name for cougars, ponder this: What's Your Nickname for Sex? Find two dudes hilarious answers over at Glamour!
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