Why Are Women so Mean to Older Brides?
Did you hear?! Jennifer Aniston is engaged!Ding dong ding!! Okay, I sympathize if you don't give a monkey's arse. I totally get it if you dread seeing every minute detail of her upcoming nuptials and potential reproduction shoved down your throats. But what bothers me is the rabid, frothing-at-the-mouth ageism that Jen's engagement has brought out in people.
Here's just a tiny fraction of the comments on stories about Jen's betrothal:
"Justin got his hooks into a desperate, rich old woman."
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"She's too self-centered to have children, and she's already 43 years old, kinda old to be a first-time mother."
"Have you seen Jennifer Aniston photos on the news lately? She looks old and ugly."
Woah. Any man on the planet getting married for the second time at 43 years old wouldn't get any of these comments. But Jen really brings out the ageist haters.
Unless your first marriage was in your teens or early 20s, the 40s is the optimal age for a second marriage. And let's remember that it wasn't exactly Jen who chose to end her first one to Brad Pitt. What's she supposed to do now that she's past 40? Sit home alone for the rest of her life because she's hit an age where it's "unseemly" to get married again, while Brad single-handedly doubles the world population with Angelina Jolie?
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Even if this were Jen's first marriage, who cares?! More and more people are waiting to get married. They first want to finish school, establish their careers, have some money in the bank, or -- shocker! -- just wait for the right person. Trust me when I say I've seen some disastrous marriages when people rushed into things because they thought they "should" be married by a certain age.
So let's say you know a woman (because a man would never get these comments) who is getting married after age 40. Here's a few things you should tie your tongue into a knot rather than say:
"It's about time!"
"And they say a woman over 40 has a better chance of getting killed by a terrorist than getting married!" (Actually, that 20-year-old stat has been thoroughly debunked.)
"But do you think you can still have kids?" (Believe it or not, plenty of people get married not just for procreation.)
"Oh, thank god. I was getting worried." (Keep that to yourself, mothers.)
"Your engagement gives me hope it can happen for me too." (Seriously? This isn't about you.)
"Miracles happen!"
What's really being served here is a huge pitcher of haterade. Some middle-aged people look around at their lives and realize they accomplished few things they really wanted to. So they cling like fantatics to the things they did manage to accomplish: Marriage and procreation before 30!
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Anyone who pushes their own choices on someone else is unhappy with their own choices. Happy people don't get upset when other people choose a different path from them. Misery, however, loves company.
Suck it up, haters. Jen's engaged, her fiancé is hot, and she looks better than you looked at 25.
Do you think some women are "too old" to get married?
Image via Getty
Written by Kiri Blakeley on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
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