Wise Guys: What Would You Do as a Woman for a Day?

Wooden Hourglass
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends
. This week they answer the following: "What would you do if you had one day to be and think like a woman?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Straight Married Guy (Ben): The very first thing I'd do is make out with my wife -- so hot when she kisses other women. And really, I hate to be so cliche, but I'm probably like 9 out of 10 guys in that, with just one day as a woman, I'd prolly focus in on the physical experience of being a woman. In other words, lots of sex -- lots of it with my wife and lots of it with whatever guys I could find (don't worry, all okayed by my wife should this ever occur, as long as I play safe, she says). I'd probably have to leave the house at some point for more supplies (food, condoms, men, etc.) and I imagine it'd be at that point that I'd find out all about things like objectification, sexism and just how terrible men are as a class. This, I figure would be completely overwhelming and depressing. So I'd beat a quick retreat home and back into bed.

Straight Single Guy (Max): Obviously, the first thing I would do is try to have an orgasm. Or rather, orgasms. As many as possible. As a man, I've always been a bit jealous and very curious about the possibilities of multiple orgasms, and given this opportunity, I would go for it. After that? I'd probably go out and try to get some nice young man to buy me a whole lot of drinks, a fancy dinner, and maybe torture him a bit before I went home, alone, and pursued even more orgasms. Because hey: I'm still a straight guy, even if I'm in a woman's body. I assume that I would retain my sexual orientation within such a magical transformation, and thus would not want to take a dude home. I'd feel bad about it, and I certainly don't encourage women to take this route, but experimenting with men as a woman... well, it gets confusing.

Gay Single Guy (Daniel): I have often wondered what the difference is between straight women and gay men when it comes to how they think and feel about men in general. My suspicion is that it's probably very similar. Even more interesting to me is how women approach sex with a man. Having enough male privilege, I could say that I'd fearlessly go after the kind of straight man I could never have as a gay man. But since I've never really experienced a fear of sexual violence towards me, that aspect would surely add another layer of complication/fascination to pursuing said straight man. Oh, and while I was at it, I'd definitely masturbate a lot so I could experience the most ecstatic multiple orgasm ever.


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Our "wise guys" are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week's Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com; our Gay Guy is is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New York City. To ask the guys your own question, click here.