Your Clingy Partner: The 2 Germs That Effect the Body of the Relationship

Do you rememberer when you both first met? Excited about the relationship. Nervous about the relationship. Realizing that you both have common interest. Wanting to hang out with them at every opportunity. Then you could not wait till the time along. Ah, yes. Those where the good ol' days. Now it would seem that (s)he always wants to spend time with you and never doing anything else. It would seem that when you try to live a life outside of him/her, (s)he always calling you with a multitude of questions. Feels smothering? I bet. This can be so do to two main factors (The 2 Germs).
1. His/ Her history in relationships. Often times people come with painful baggage that they carry with them in their hearts. History of constantly being cheated on during a time when they trusted their partner. Unfortunately, a wall is often built around their heart that keeps "trust" barricade behind it. It's a terrible insecurity to have. It's like a disease in a relationship. Your partner does not want to loose you nor does (s)he want to repeat the embarrassment.

Advice: Lot's of patience. Lot's of unconditional love. Make it a point to remind your partner that (s)he is special to you. Do not wait till the symptoms of questions come up to remind him/her that you desire them. Tell them everyday. The best bet to avoid it before you even find out that this insecurity exist in your partner is to start out like you can hold out. In other words, continue to enjoy the gift of "being in love" once you fall in it. There is a reason that your partner put the walls down enough to trust you to date to begin with. Call him/her before (s)he calls you. If (s)he tends to call every 5 minutes, simply let him/her know what you are up to. Be honest. That's if you have nothing to hide.

"Hey, Jill/Joe. I miss you too, baby. Thinking of you the whole time. I'm hanging out with the guys/girls, but I will be there to tend to your heart. Call me back in about 2 hours. Thanks for being awesome and trusting."

2. Too much time on his/her hands. The playing field is uneven. While you manage to find other things

to enjoy in life, (s)he may not have the same. Therefore, nothing else is really occupying his/her mind or time. Be aware that there are some things that can be done without thinking about the process of doing them, like chores. Any job that has become like second nature can leave room for your partner to think about nothing else but you. While I like the idea of "being in love", there should be a balance in order to lead a healthy life and have a healthy relationship.

Advice: You may want to talk to him/her about what (s)he does with his/her time. Pay attention to when (s)he is more prone to panic when you are away from each other. Is it only when you go out with your friends? Is it when (s)he is off of work? Is it when your double shift left little room for you to contact? Once you identify when this insecurity rears it's ugly head, then you are empowered to help them help themselves.

Even out the playing field in time. Ensure that the same amount of time you spend out enjoying life, is balanced out with your partners. If your partner is lacking the resource of a social life, you may help them out by taking the initiative to share a great deal of your fun time with your partner. Not ALL. Your partner needs to learn to do without you. This method also let's your partner know that you enjoy being around him/her while giving him/her something to enjoy as well.

If you have done all that you could possibly do, remember that being clingy is an insecurity. Insecurities are like a disease in the relationship. You can take over the counter prescriptions (in this case "over the web"), but sometimes it takes a great doctor to help them get better. Go for the relationship counseling. No matter what you do, please do not give your partner reason to not trust you. Otherwise you are a contributer to the emotional disease.

"Being in love is worth fighting for" ~ Unknown