Learning to love the chaos
I just spent a weekend in a house with six cats, four dogs, a phone that rings every seven minutes, and a doorbell that trills twice a day. The cacophony of commotion in this house got me thinking about simplicity and how we try to create it in our lives, inspired by those silent, Zen-like photographs of orchids and a cup of green tea. Instead of fighting against the fact of our loud lives filled with kids, soccer practice, and teeth cleanings, maybe our best bet is to embrace the messiness of life. Here, five ideas how.
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Most of life is out of our control. We can't make people call or not call. We can't change the economy. We can't keep our loved ones from getting sick or keep disaster at bay. What we can control is ourselves: how kind we are, how we adapt to change, how much we smile. Doing our best work, eating food that makes us feel healthy, and how we talk to ourselves and others are all under our own domain. Even if you can only do it for one day, try making choices that only support the healthiest, calmest, happiest you as the rest of life swirls around you.
BE REAL
Life is messy, but to what extent do you create more chaos for yourself? Do you run off in thirteen different reactive directions every time a thought pops into your head or the phone rings? Do you create conflict and chaos in your life because it makes you feel important or gives you a sense of being needed? Admit the ways you might be stressing yourself out and increasing your own daily feelings of anxiety. Some chaos is just life in action, but some we might be bringing on ourselves.
CREATE BOUNDARIES
This isn't trying to control the chaos, it's setting up systems that allow you to function within the eye of its storm. Give yourself blocks of time to focus on one thing--5, 10, 15, or 30 minutes--and respect the task at hand. That means not responding to a text until your window of time has come to a close. Our instant world makes us think that we have to instantly react and respond. Most of the time, we don't have to; we create our own timeline. Respect the boundaries you set for yourself, make it clear to others, and ask them to respect your limits as well. It won't work 100% of the time--that's the chaos of life, for you--but it's worth a try.
FIND QUIET WHERE YOU CAN
Even if you silence your cell, a normal, boisterous life will not be transformed into a monk's cloister. Try to embrace the quiet moments as they come up, like while you're standing in line at the post office or waiting for the tea kettle to boil or the red light to change. Instead of rushing to multitask or deal with a fresh problem that's cropped up, connect with your breath and be present in the moment.
SEE THE BEAUTY IN IMPERFECTION
Okay, so there's a sock on the dining room table, breakfast dishes in the sink, and a scuff on your new pair of shoes. Instead of seeing these things as flaws, try seeing them as the charms of your unique life. You don't have to dine sock-side or let the dishes become a tower--that would be submitting to chaos rather than embracing it--but life isn't a slick, air-brushed photograph or scripted movie. That would be boring and predictable, wouldn't it? Your life's got gaffes and goofs, and if you can see the beauty in its imperfection, that's what makes it great.
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