Real-life expert: I keep my family on a super-tight budget

One of the many glorious things about the Internet is the way it bridges distance and difference, connecting us to people with stories we might never have known. The best example of this for me personally has been meeting Sara Rose. Though our material realities are pretty different -- she lives in South Dakota with two kids; I'm childless in Brooklyn -- we're kindreds at heart, both interested in living well on a very small budget. Here, Sara Rose, speaks candidly about the financial realities of the recession and its effects on her family, and her perspective on the importance of giving back, no matter how little you have.

How has the economy in the past year affected the way your family views and spends money?


I finished school and realized I had a fairly useless degree. My husband, Nolan, got a great job with the University of South Dakota, but we still weren't making ends meet. Basically we were living paycheck to paycheck and despite our best efforts not to, beyond our means. Then, Nolan got laid off with no compensation or anything. To realize that you have money coming from absolutely nowhere is such a hard thing to deal with. It's devastating on a number of levels. We looked at what little money we had and what we might have coming in and tightened the boot straps again.

We cut our budget in so many places. We canceled cable, started homeschooling instead of sending our daughter to expensive preschool, use cloth diapers, and generally try to make our own fun. I got to work on my not very lucrative career goal of writing while Nolan looked for work. In South Dakota, it takes forever to get unemployment and we had to get a lot of assistance wherever we could. The worst part of getting any kind of aid (food stamps, housing, etc.) is how you are treated. If you worked to live responsibly you are still treated like some mooch who wants nothing but to take advantage of the "system" that is supposed to help people get back on their feet.

Nolan got rehired back at his old job, and I'm slowly starting to make a bit more money, but we've still continued to find ways to cut corners. We are still waiting for that "better day" when we aren't constantly looking over our shoulders at yet another bill to pay.

However, there are some blessings in this. We've garnered a new set of priorities and have an empathy for people worse off than us. I doubt we would have ever had that before if we had continued without any major setbacks. We've learned our lessons about spending wisely and planning ahead. When we do get any extra money, we immediately use some to pay some bills in advance and save the rest. We operate without credit cards and prefer to save for bigger purchases, if they are even necessary. That's the thing: deciding what IS necessary. Do we need a new flat screen LCD TV when we've got a perfectly good TV that was gifted to us? Nope.

Food is an important source of pleasure, fun, and togetherness for your family. How do you stay on budget but provide a varied, healthy diet for your family?


Having a well stocked pantry is key. Just having basics around really helps on the nights that your refrigerator and your mind is empty of inspiration. Luckily, my mom taught me a lot about cooking cheaply and deliciously for a family. I usually went grocery shopping with her as a kid, learned about comparison shopping and how to read labels, not just on food but on the shelves too.

For example, there's pre-shredded cheese and there's blocks of cheese. The latter are usually the better value, and the arm work it takes to shred your own cheese isn't that hard. A lot of food shows now really emphasize how "easy" it is to just buy stuff that's pre-chopped, pre-cooked, etc. I understand some women feel pressure to put dinner on the table in an already busy lifestyle and may have the budget for those things. From my experience though, usually "pre-done" doesn't always equal "better quality" and rarely is much of a value.

There's a real misconception that to put dinner on the table every night that is healthy and good, you need to labor endlessly. I haven't found that to be the case. Recognizing value isn't always easy at first. Cans of beans may be "easier" but a bag of beans will last you through two or three meals and is at least two dollars less. I also have a baby at home and am one of those mothers who makes some of her baby food. But, if you buy some different frozen vegetables, simmer briefly in vegetable stock or even plain water and puree, you usually can make a batch that will last your baby the whole week and be healthier and more economical in the long run.

We do allow "treats" like candy or cookies but that's what they are: treats. Because I am a cook and have forayed in recent years into the world of baked goods, treats are often homemade rather than bought.

Where do you find the best bargains?

Luckily, I live in the Midwest and agriculture is the name of the game around here. There are meat lockers, butchers, farmers markets, and vegetable stalls aplenty. If you want, you can probably find farmers to source directly for things like milk and cheese, too. I am a bit picky in that area. I get to know the people I buy these things from to make sure hormones, antibiotics, and pesticides are minimal. Also, since we use food stamps, you have to make sure to find places that take those. Food stamps here are on an EBT card similar to a debit card, but not everyone is set up for that. We've thought of joining a coop, but I strive to buy the amount that we eat and not have a lot of waste. Waste is really where money runs down the toilet.

I have a policy about the "things" we buy -- less but better. For example, last summer I decided to buy only dresses for my daughter. I bought 6 on serious sale for probably $30-$40 and getting her dressed was a snap.

I also try to find ways to reuse things. I credit having hippie parents. If Nolan has a t-shirt that's in rags, I cut it up into dust rags. For my son's cloth diapers, there were four blankets he outgrew right away, so I cut them into extra liners for his diapers at night and also into gentle washcloths for him. Thrift stores are useful but they can be a bit of a trap. You see a pretty, vintage milk glass cake stand and suddenly buy that instead of the sweater you were hoping to buy.

Resourcefulness is so important when facing a really limited budget. We sell anything we don't or can't use anymore. I'm also a big fan of cleaning the way "grandma used to." Grandma didn't use 8000 different cleaners and her house still sparkled, right? Usually she used things like ammonia and hot water or vinegar and newspapers, and a good cloth to clean the house top to bottom.

Has your experience in the past year changed your views about money?

Being the hippie-dippy that I am, I am a HUGE believer in karma and putting good into the universe. Life has been on hard on me but it is ALWAYS harder on someone else. I have a roof over my head and many things many people don't have. So I try to give back, in hopes that someday, when I might need it, somebody might be there for me. So far this hasn't failed, but it can be hard to remember when times seem dire. When my husband lost his job, a few people I had never expected came through. They may not necessarily have been people I had helped in the past, but it doesn't matter. I am a bit prideful in not liking to ask for help. Really, who does? There is always a little something you can give. Be it time, money, or effort, it's important to do so.

When the earthquake in Haiti came, it punched me in the gut, just like New Orleans and Katrina did. Perhaps, I am just a caretaker by nature. Both times, I scrounged and scrimped and pulled together money to donate to the Red Cross. I participate in walks for St. Jude's Hospitals and the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I also give yearly to famine and AIDS relief in Africa. I don't always have the money to give and may have to sacrifice for it, but I find it necessary to help others.

Having to teach my own kids about money has been the eye opener. My daughter, Eva is 4 1/2 and just beginning to understand that we may be poor but there are people who are worse off than us. I take Eva to the park often near the library. Despite the fact that we live in a small town, there are homeless people and there was one there that day. We were talking about "being poor" and I told her to look at him. I simply said, "We have what he doesn't, a roof over our heads and food to eat. Money buys those things but sometimes it fails you anyways."

Later on, I talked to the homeless man, took him to the grocery store to buy food and to the shelter at a local church. He actually never said more than a simple yes or no occasionally, but at least I knew that for a few nights he had a bed, a shower, and some food. I can't handle callous attitudes towards poor people having been under the poverty line for so long now. Sometimes, you know a person's story without even asking -- it's merely that they got beat up by life a few too many times and nobody stopped to help them pick up pieces.

I don't live for some sort of "savior complex" but I also don't pretend to have airs. There have been times in my life where I had plenty of money and been plenty unhappy, not to mention vice versa. I've just always been that kid who feeds strays, gives my clothes to people who have none, etc., simply to help them. It's not about being boastful or having something to pat myself on the shoulder about. More so, it's just about putting good out into the universe and praying it actually helps someone or may come back to me someday.

Read more from Sara Rose on her blog.

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