Parenting Guru: 4 lessons I've learned from my toddler

Melanie Myatt

I have four kids, so it often feels like I rarely have time to focus on just one, or even myself for that matter. This fall, since my three oldest kids are now in school, I have a little extra time.

Or so one would think.

Somehow my toddler is managing to take up as much of my attention as the other three do all together. Instead of focusing my attention on all that isn't getting done with the help of my eighteen-month-old, I'm choosing to focus on the valuable lessons she is teaching me in these moments we share together.

Lesson #1: Set small goals. When I was getting ready for the school year to start, I was so excited about all the housework I would be able to accomplish while the big three were away at school. Now I'm learning that getting even one thing done on my "to-do" list is a really big accomplishment. When I get up in the morning these days, I try to pick one small thing that I hope to get done that day. Bonus for me if I pick something that my daughter can actually help me with since I'm that much more likely to get that done.

Lesson #2: Take pleasure in the small things. Enjoying a latte while watching her spin in circles, having our own small dance party, admiring her drawing that took all of two seconds before she was ready for the next activity: these are small events in our day that don't take much time, but might not necessarily be on my agenda for the day. I'm learning to take delight from her delight. This is making both of us happier at the end of the day.

Lesson #3: Slow down. Since I have three kids at three different schools, with 5 different pick-up or drop-off times, I feel like a good part of my day is spent hurrying from one place to the next. If there is one thing my toddler refuses to do, it is hurry. She is the one most likely to run the other way from the direction the rest of us are headed. Factoring her needs and her demands into my day is helping me plan ahead and make room in my schedule for moving more slowly. All of us are now able to have more conversations together, giving us better opportunity to share the details of our days as we move slowly to our next destination.

Lesson #4: You always get a do-over (whether you want it or not!). I look with satisfaction at the floor I just swept or the room I just cleaned. Little do I know that my own personal "Tasmanian devil" is coming behind me, ready to dump out a box of cereal (she just wanted a snack!), or make many, many trips from the toy room to the living room to bring out as many toys as possible (why pick one when you can have all?). I am too often guilty of putting high expectations on myself to keep myself and my home looking as perfect as possible. That just isn't going to happen with a toddler. I'm learning to find "good enough" acceptable, knowing I will have another opportunity to do the job again before I know it!

I can see why people say that this stage of childhood is a favorite. My daughter's personality is revealing itself more and more each day. She can bring a smile to my face when I take a moment to watch her engage with siblings, toys or her own thoughts, even when she has just dumped out a box of cereal for herself. There are definitely days that are harder than others, but I want this time to make me a better person, not just her.