Parenting Guru: At Halloween, I've given up doing it "my way"

This is a picture from Halloween, 2010. What you see is the hodge-podge of costumes (or not) that my kids put together based on what they really wanted.

My baby, of course, had no say in the matter. She got dressed as an elephant simply because that was the costume someone gave us that fit her at the time. The bonus for me was that her costume kept her nice and warm during our frosty Halloween celebration.

My son was happy to find the Spider-Man costume in his size at the thrift store. The fact that we had no mask to go with it didn't bother him at the time. He was happy to wear a homemade paper mask along with the suit.

My next oldest daughter, kneeling in the back, had several decent costume options to choose from. At the thrift store, she had found a Barbie veterinarian costume. Somehow by the tenth time of trying to explain that she was going to be a Barbie veterinarian for Halloween without having a good explanation for her choice seemed to take the luster away from her costume. By the time we dressed up for this particular event, she only wanted to wear regular clothes. She never did wear the costume.

Finally, my oldest chose this dog costume. Saying that she is a dog fanatic is putting her obsession mildly. She was absolutely ecstatic to find this dog costume at the thrift store. What you cannot necessarily tell from this picture is that she is tall for an eight-year-old and this costume is a 4T. Somehow she made it work, but it was hard for me know to wish that she had picked something in our size.

Because we are at a time in our lives where we don't have a lot of money to spend on deluxe Halloween costumes, we are at the mercy of those who donate their cast-off, either directly to us or to the thrift store. Each year the kids have been quite happy with their selection; I'm the one that is looking enviously at those families who have coordinated costumes that actually fit right and have all their pieces.

I dream of picking a theme for our family and either sewing an appropriate costume for everyone, finding exactly the right pieces at the thrift store, or even (gasp!) buying everything we need directly from the store. Somehow with 6 different personalities in our family, we have never been able to agree on a single theme, not to mention the fact that we just don't have a budget to buy 6 brand-new costumes.

This year I've been pushing for us to be a family of superheroes. Each person can have a handmade cape with his/her initial on it, and a special coordinated mask to complete the outfit. So far, my husband is the only one supportive of that idea.

For the sake of my kids, I'm giving up my dream for another Halloween. I will take my kids to the thrift store (as often as necessary) and give them the joy of piecing together a costume for whatever their little hearts desire. Whether the costume fits or not, meets up to my expectations and desires or not, I will give them the freedom of choice and the joy of making the decision for themselves.