Parenting Guru: Got Sanity? Me Neither.

I take my new role as a Parenting Guru quite seriously and I want to give my readers the best possible advice I have to offer. However, when it comes to this month's topic-sanity-saving holiday tips-I'm a little rough around the edges, to say the least. Just ask my husband, who just yesterday fell victim to the wrath of a woman who lost her Christmas spirit while separating the branches on our lovely looking but skin-hating artificial tree.

In spite of a brief fit of holiday-induced rage, I did manage to come up with tips I've put into place this year that have helped me keep what's left of my sanity, and here they are in order of what I remembered first:

1. Make a list. Check it twice. I tend to be a sporadic shopper, picking up a few items here and there when I see a good sale. This year I started to keep a tally of the number of gifts per kid so no one ends up in therapy down the line because they got less presents than their siblings. For parents with younger kids who can't count, enjoy it while it lasts because it won't be long before those sweet little eyes develop the ability to scan a pile of presents from 20 feet away and spot a discrepancy within seconds.

2. Volunteer with caution. Of course you want to contribute to the kids' school holiday celebrations, and you can without having to churn out 60 cupcakes from scratch. Sign up to bring the juice boxes. The kids need drinks, you're at the grocery store twice a week anyway, and the total time spent is zero minutes. It's a win for everyone!

3. Avoid the mall the entire month of December. Figure out the dollar amount you're willing to pay for your sanity and make peace with spending it in shipping fees. This is why Al Gore invented the internet.

4. Find alone time. Dreading the monstrous task of wrapping piles of presents? Then you're looking at this the wrong way. Send your husband out with the kids, pour yourself a cocktail or two, call your girlfriends who you haven't spoken to in months, and start wrapping. In a few short hours you'll be smiling from the nice buzz, the great conversation and the feeling of accomplishment that comes from seeing that pile of neatly stacked, wrapped presents.

In the midst of the chaos that comes with this time of year, try to keep in mind that the whole purpose of the holiday season is to bring joy into the lives of those you love, so do you best to keep smiling, but not crazy smiling so that people suspect you're medicated.

Happy holidays to you and yours!

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