Parenting Guru: The first crush

My 7-year-old son has his very first crush on a cute blonde girl in his class. He's being very secretive about the nature of their relationship, but he's told me that he can read her mind. With the exception of that little tidbit, mum's the word.

I've tried all different kinds of interrogation techniques in my quest to find out more, all of them ultimately unsuccessful.

Bribery: How about two desserts after dinner tonight?

Indifference: It's totally cool if you don't want to tell me. I'm not that curious anyway.

Empathy: Do you want to hear the story of my first crush? The year was 1980. The setting was St. Paul of the Cross School in Jersey City . . . (just when I thought he was joining me for a walk down memory lane, he was back on the couch watching Sponge Bob before I could continue).

This kid is good. And as much as I'd love for him to tell me what's going on in every facet of his life, I admire his desire to keep his first crush to himself. He's a quiet and sensitive boy, two traits that drive girls crazy. Add mysterious to that and he's set for life.

For this month's Parenting Guru assignment I'm supposed to write a letter to a childhood crush, and I've decided to put my own spin on things and write a letter to the girl who has captured my oldest son's heart.

Dear Cute Blonde Girl,

I'm not allowed to mention you by name without a certain someone's cheeks turning many shades of crimson. I don't know much about you, but from what I can tell from your class picture you have a nice smile and you like to wear pink.

My son thinks you're awesome, and he's a great judge of character so you must be one cool girl. Here's the thing, though. You're his first crush and that's a big deal. The first crush is the one that stays with you for a lifetime. I know what you're thinking. Isn't that a little dramatic? Listen, you're seven and I've been 29 for more than five years, so trust me when I tell you this. You'll never forget your first crush.

Still don't believe me? Here's proof. I can recount, in great detail, the exact moment I experienced my first crush, as well as the heartbreak that followed soon after.

He was the boy with dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes who sat across from me in kindergarten. My 5-year-old heart would skip a beat every time he walked over from his cubby and opened his pencil case. He tilted his head to the side whenever he traced his letters, and that drove me crazy. He was, without a doubt, the coolest boy in the history of the whole world.

Except for one small detail-he was totally into my best friend.

It took me a while to figure out what was going on, but there was a whole lot of crayon sharing that I wasn't privy to and I didn't like it one bit. My heart was broken beyond repair. Not even my favorite lunch of pineapple juice and a cheese sandwich (crust free and cut into quarters, thankyouverymuch) could ease the pain. I eventually moved on, but I can still recall the sting of that heartbreak all these years later.

Bottom line, be nice to my boy. As the great Spider-Man once said, "With great power comes great responsibility," and you, my little blonde friend, have captured the heart of my first son. Tread carefully. I grew that heart from scratch.

Best,
The Mom

Melissa (a.k.a. @FitsNGiggles on Twitter) is a Shine Parenting Guru and a member of the Yahoo! Motherboard. She shares more stories about her boys, and most recently, her quest to lose 30 lbs., on her blog, Fits "N" Giggles.