Parenting Guru: The Many Gifts in Life Illuminate When Battling Cancer
[Editor's note: This month, Shine Parenting Gurus were asked to write about a moment over the last year that they are genuinely thankful for, whether that was a good time with their family, or a more difficult experience that made reflect upon their lives in a new way.]
by Tina Case, Shine Parenting Guru
I would never have anticipated that cancer would touch my life as deeply as it has this year. The year started off with a bang, a wallop of a shocker. During the cold and bitter January my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. We were totally blindsided by this blanket of cold news; we did not see this coming. He was only 49 years old at the time.
The winter marked the beginning of our nauseating cancer roller coaster. A major illness is something "other" people go through, it's not something we envision happening to ourselves or our loved ones. However, when it does, that's when a relationship is put to the test. And the surprising thing is it can end up thawing the coldness of the initial diagnosis and end up illuminating life's gifts along the way.
Through the course of 20 years my husband and I have worked on our marriage, that's for darn sure. And believe me, it hasn't been easy. But when a major illness happens you discover amazing things about yourself and your relationships.
I discovered how steadfast I am at being there for my husband. No matter what. I learned that there is no bottom to the well of my love for him; I took care of that awful catheter, got up several times before the crack of dawn to accompany him to various doctor visits, cleaned his dressings, and helped nurse him back to health. I learned how wonderful our friends and family are, they came through for us in a time of crisis. They brought us meals; they flew in to see him, they called and they listened. Many friendships deepened, especially with those who went through their own battle with cancer because we were now members of the same club.
I discovered how extraordinary some people are. During the course of this year my husband developed several "inspiration buddies". These incredible friends inspired one another to remain positive and resolute in fighting their cancer. One friend in particular, Kevin, was my husband's strongest inspiration buddy. In October Kevin lost his battle with melanoma after a five year battle, it hit my husband like a locomotive. Kevin wasn't married nor did he have children. He left behind his faithful Labrador retriever, Rally.
On October 8th our family adopted Rally. We did not waiver asking Kevin's parents, who live 2000 miles away, if we could take him in. Whether it is my imagination or Kevin looking down upon us; ever since we've had Rally he's brought great love and luck to our family.
Rally is our constant reminder of how tenuous life is. He's brought a new meaning to our experience with cancer this year. He's a reminder of those who are left behind when cancer strikes, and is a reminder to live each day like it's your last.
The title to my post is from an email exchange between my husband and Kevin. It stays with me wherever I go. Kevin's gift was this extraordinary friendship, his incredibly positive, easy-going nature, and unexpectedly, our new love, Rally.
Illuminate those you love (including yourself!) not to take good health for granted. Get regular checkups and get your baseline recorded. That's what saved my husband's life, a smart internist who acted on his suspicion.
Today, close to a year after his initial doctor visit, my husband is considered cancer free. And our new dog, Rally, shines our family with love and companionship. What an amazing gift as we draw a close to this incredible year.
On my blog, Parent Grapevine, I write about our personal experience with prostate cancer in more depth. I also post about how Rally has integrated himself into our lives.
