Parenting Guru: The panic attack that changed everything
This year has been filled with so many amazing moments all brought about by a panic attack.
A few years ago we were living large. We sold our modest townhome and purchased a larger home because we needed it; after all, we had another baby on the way. Besides, we both worked demanding jobs and we deserved it. Or so we thought.
In the era of free spending and easy living we were living the life we thought we deserved. We never bought a boat or went on an exotic vacation, but we dined and shopped and played with the best of them. We had earned it. Or so we thought.
About 30 seconds after we purchased our home the housing market crashed. We were instantly underwater. Everybody said it would happen. I didn't listen. I blame pregnancy brain. And the spending continued.
When we were first married we were young and broke. We shared one car for years. We took pride in saving money. We didn't know any Joneses. We were rich in love and nothing else seemed to matter. We scrimped to buy our first home only to sell it three years later because we'd outgrown it, and hey, we deserved it. Or so we thought.
On a typical Saturday last January I was paying our bills online and decided to take a look at our savings account. Um, hi…what happened to our savings? I don't remember that balance, LIKE AT ALL. Where was the money going? Well let's see, we got new jeans last weekend, I bought three bras I desperately needed and oh yeah, that Sunday brunch and last Friday's dinner. Oh, and that Vegas weekend and all that fundraising cookie dough too.
We had been sustaining our lifestyle with our savings and if we continued spending at this rate, even a mildly rainy day was capable of ruining everything we had worked so hard for. What if we had an emergency? Anything could happen; I envisioned illness, injury, unemployment, a roof leak.
Why. Can't. I. Breathe? We needed groceries and had $2.76 in our checking account. Inhale. Exhale.
It was time to get real.
Who had we become? How could we let this happen? We used to be so good with our money. We intended to build a house of dreams and ended up building a house of cards. And the wind was blowing.
Stopping the financial bleeding and getting real with our finances wasn't easy. Establishing a budget was painful, time-consuming and a total grownup snooze-fest. Giving up indulgences felt sacrificial. Distinguishing wants from needs took a lot of energy; energy better spent relaxing on a restaurant patio somewhere. Or so we thought.
But then a funny thing happened; we got used to it. Those things that once felt so necessary gradually began to seem frivolous. Who knew cooking with my family was actually fun? Was a picnic at the park always more fun than outlet shopping? Get out! The world had changed around me and it was changing me…or was it the other way around?
Somehow we did it. We made a budget. We committed to it and surprisingly, had taken pride in it.
Getting real with our finances made me realize the stuff wasn't what made me happy. Living within our means made me happy. Feeling secure in our financial future made me happy. Spending time with my family made me happy.
So yeah, I'm thankful for that panic attack for bringing me closer to my family and all that is real. And as for those Joneses, well, we never liked them anyway.
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