User post: Why this mom is skipping Thanksgiving this year

I've a

lways loved Thanksgiving and was really looking forward to it this year especially, since we moved my ailing father to the Bay Area over the summer. I figured by the time fall came around, we'd all be settled in and ready to enjoy a family gathering, and that my daughter, who is turning 4 this month, would be old enough to really understand the holidays and get a chance to be with her grandpa. He had lived in Las Vegas for many years, and though it's not that far from San Francisco, we didn't go visit him for the holidays last year (at his insistence). It's a decision I'll always regret. I thought I could make it up to him this year, but sadly, he died in early August, barely a week after his 74th birthday--of end-stage heart disease. It happened faster than we thought, and I'm missing him and am approaching the holidays I'd planned to enjoy with him with a feeling of sadness.

So, instead of cooking the big Thanksgiving meal, which we do every other year or so, or bundling off to my husband's parents house, I'm going to visit my sister in Paris. She's been living there for over a year, and after our dad's death--and a breakup with the guy she moved there for--she's decided to stay on alone for awhile and make a go of it. It's been a hard year for both of us, and I want to spend time with her that doesn't revolve around our dad's illness or death, and to support her in her new life (which, though it sounds like a fantasy in many ways--also has its hard parts). Of course, going to Paris by myself will be a huge treat--it's been nearly 10 years since I've been, and having lived there very briefly, I know the city fairly well, and am really only planning to hang out with sis, wander her neighborhood, eat some great meals, and maybe hit a museum or two. No real agenda. I know I'm lucky to be able to do this--I have a place to stay, and was able to get a surprisingly reasonable flight--but still, Paris...by myself...for almost a week. It's really to much to think about. As a mom who works full time, commutes, and runs a household, the prospect of a few days to myself to wander Paris...it's a gift. I'm happy that my husband understands and is excited for me to do this. My women friends are all universally supportive as well, and that makes me feel good.

Though part of me will miss being with my husband and daughter on Thanksgiving--watching the Macy's parade on TV and the smell of the house as the turkey and trimmings are cooking, I'm also looking forward to stepping away from the very loaded holiday for just once. We'll have a nice dinner somewhere that day--and of course it's not a holiday in Paris, which will be interesting, but that's okay with me. My husband and daughter will be with his family, so they have lots to do, but I know I'll be thinking about my dad--and my mom--a lot, and if I can do it from a cafe in Paris, toasting them with my sister, all the better.

Have you ever "skipped" a holiday?