5 Thanksgiving table traditions for the modern family
When it comes to the holidays, it's so easy to get swept up in our household cleaning and hostess duties while easily forgetting the larger importance of the day. "What's important about the holidays is not asking 'What am I supposed to do?'," says Susan Lieberman, author of New Traditions, "but rather asking, 'How do I want us to feel and what will get us there?'" Here, a few suggestions on meaningful table traditions to foster a sense of family on Thanksgiving.
Create a Sense of Togetherness (Even With Those Who Aren't Present)
One way to foster a feeling of intimacy when your family is spread across the country or the globe is to all share in the same tradition. "I know one family that sets a time the day before and they all make pie at the same time, using their Grandma Betty's pumpkin pie recipe," says Meg Cox, traditions expert and author of The Book of New Family Traditions. Grandma then "calls around to the different households and speaks to each of her grandkids, wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving--and a delicious desert."
Use Technology
Consider this the upgrade to passing the telephone around the room. Why not set up a laptop at the end of the table to video chat with your far-flung family? Decide ahead of time to have a Skype cocktail hour or dessert, suggests Susan.
Catch Up Time
Whether you're seated at the same table or talking face-to-face via video chat, it can still be difficult to really know what's going on in people's lives. Don't be afraid to get to the heart of the matter. "One family, spread from coast to coast, has started a new tradition of 'catch up time' that begins as the turkey is being cleared and continues through dessert," says Susan. "Going around the table, each person speaks to these questions: What's going on with me now? What's been the most challenging part of the past year and the most rewarding? What am I looking forward to in the coming year?" If your family isn't used to talking about serious stuff, this might feel awkward at first, but the sense of closeness it nurtures will be well worth any initial discomfort.
Count Your Blessings
It is called Thanksgiving, after all. "There are so many ways to make this concrete," says Meg. "Put three dried corn kernels by each plate, or three pretty leaves (paper ones are fine). Go around the table and have each person, no matter the age, count off three things they are grateful for this day."
Put It In Writing
Some people might feel uncomfortable sharing aloud with the group. With that in mind, Susan suggests "[asking] each person to fill out a card noting something another person in the family did during the year that meant a lot." Or make it more broad by having people write down something they are grateful for in general. Place all the cards into a basket or jar, fish them out one-by-one and read the cards over dessert.
Whatever your family traditions, here's to a joyful and meaningful Thanksgiving!
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