10 Things You Should Never Say to a New Dad

The author's husband as a new dad.The author's husband as a new dad.
If you're reading this, chances are good that you've read my previous posts on stuff you shouldn't say to people, particularly pregnant women and new moms. In my effort to help society (and myself) stop saying boneheaded things all the time, here's a cheat sheet of comments we should all avoid saying to another key group: new dads. Feel free to add your own ideas and experiences in the comments section below, so that we may all be further enlightened!

Read More: 25 Things You Should Never Say to a New Mom

1. "Are you sure he's yours?" That's a great way to call a man stupid and his wife a slut at the exact same time. I don't care if the baby comes out looking exactly like his best friend. Unless you are extremely close with a person you should never voice concerns over his child's parentage.

2. "Sorry you had a girl." I've actually heard this one said before, although not to the dad's face. It seems that some people think that men are disappointed by any baby that doesn't sport a penis, which is completely ridiculous.

3. "Looks like you've put on some sympathy baby weight." Women get most of the credit for being waistline-conscious, but I've known plenty of men who've waged war against the scale on more than one occasion. If you're really concerned about a buddy's health, avoid the weight comments and invite him on a hike or bike ride instead.

Read More: 7 Things Not to Say to a Mom of Twins

4. "Why are you changing that diaper? Real men leave that to the women." Actually, no! Real men have come a long way in the last 50 years and don't expect mothers to shoulder all of the diaper-changing or feeding duties. Maybe modern medicine will hop on board sometime soon and give men a way to partake in the childbearing, labor and delivery fun, yes?

5. "You have a special needs child? Better luck next time." This -- understandably -- seems to be a major pet peeve among the many parents with special needs children. Although they come with their own challenges, mothers and fathers of these babies love them every bit as much as the parents of so-called "normal" children do. So don't presume to think otherwise.

6. "Real men don't need their wives to work after a kid comes along." Sure, plenty of women (myself included) choose to stay home after having a baby, but not everyone does. Whether a mother goes back to work or not has no reflection on the husband's manhood. Plus, the financial goings-on of any couple are none of anyone else's business.

Read More: 4 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

7. "Your life is over." I'm sure there are many people out there who believe that becoming a parent is the marked end of their social life and outside interests. Although having a child certainly does heavily impact a person's life, there's no reason that dads can't achieve a balance of love for family while maintaining his own identity, too. Same goes for Mama.

8. "What a cute baby! He looks nothing like you." Way to bring a guy down, huh? Parents like to feel like their young'uns resemble them, even if most babies come out of the womb looking like Winston Churchill.

9. "I can't believe you stay home with your baby." I, for one, have so much respect for any person that stays home with their kid(s). It's a rewarding, but very demanding job, and anyone who thinks a guy is a sissy for doing so has clearly never cared for tiny humans before.

10. "What do you mean, you can't hang out? Do you have to baby-sit or something?" Um, if the child is yours it's called parenting -- not baby-sitting. It comes with the territory!

Did I leave anything off the list? What's the most ridiculous or rudest thing someone's ever said to you or your child's father?

This post was written by Alia Hoyt.

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