10 Things You SHOULD Say to a Pregnant Woman
It's no secret that people utter a lot of stupid things to pregnant women. Suddenly, it seems as if everyone has an opinion on your body, what you're putting into it, how you're behaving, and more.
By the time I was eight months along, I was so tired of hearing everyone's running commentary on my size, my cravings and my health that even the question "How are you feeling?" would send me into a silent rage.
Talking to a pregnant woman can be tricky, indeed. Even if you have the best of intentions, maneuvering through that conversational territory, especially when the other person is very possibly in the throes of serious hormonal upheaval, is like negotiating a minefield.
There are a million articles on the web about what you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman, but what about what you SHOULD say? There are some things you can say to a pregnant woman that she'll love to hear. So, if you stumble and accidentally make an unsavory comment about her girth, quickly follow it up with one of the comments you're about to read and maybe, just maybe, you can reverse the damage.
Related: 10 pregnancy facts no one tells you
1. "Isn't It Amazing What The Female Body Can Do?"
There is no denying it, pregnancy is pretty amazing. Being able to create life is mind-blowing. There isn't a pregnant woman who hasn't sat and marveled at the fact that she is growing a human being. So when you say something like "Isn't it amazing what the female body can do?" she will hop aboard that train with you and talk your ear off about how great it all is. There is no way even the most hormone-filled woman can twist this into a negative remark. You cannot go wrong with this comment!
2. "That Pregnancy Glow Thing Is Working For You!"
Just like women who aren't pregnant, ladies love to hear how beautiful they look. DUH. Play up on that 'pregnancy glow' thing everybody's always yammering about. Even if she's pushing maximum density, has severe acne and hasn't washed her hair in two weeks, tell her how beautiful she looks. But be careful with compliments. Be sincere, don't make it sound like you pity them or they will scratch your eyes out. They will!
3. "After You."
Open a door for her. Give up your seat for her. Let her cut in line. So yeah, it's not like she's disabled but if you see a woman who looks like she's about to give birth at any moment, help her out. Even though feminism all but killed some of those old-fashioned niceties, women still love chivalry - even from another woman. People like to feel special and being pregnant is special. So make her feel that way. Open her door, help her load the dog food into her shopping cart, whatever.
Related: 11 mom stereotypes - from Tiger to Too Cool
4. "Can I Touch Your Belly?"
Always ask for permission BEFORE you touch the baby bump. Unless, you're the baby daddy... And even then this may be your wisest course of action. You never know how someone feels about their personal space and it can be a little startling when someone just goes in for a belly grab. You can't lose if you ask permission. Either they've got no problem with it or they're kind of touchy about it but you asking first will be much appreciated. And this is just me, but if you dont know said pregnant person, don't even ask to touch the belly. AWKWARD.
5. "You Make Pregnancy Look Easy!"
Just like snowflakes, no two pregnancies are alike. Everyone's pregnancy path is different. Perhaps the pregnant person in your life is struggling. A great way to offer your support is to say something like "Gosh, I know pregnancy is hard but you sure make it look easy. You're doing great!"
6. "You're Carrying Your Future Best Friend."
It's best to stay general. Don't comment on the baby's sex or how boys are this or girls are that. Just engage her in conversation about how excited she is to finally meet her little one. Speculate what the baby's personality will be like from the way it's kicking or wonder aloud whether it will look more like mom or dad... (either is a great thing, of course!) that kind of thing. A pregnant woman spends many hours daydreaming about what her baby will look like and be like so I think you'll find she'll be eager to have this conversation with you.
Related: 10 "unsafe" things I did while pregnant
7. "Take It Easy On Yourself. Making A Human Being Is Hard Work."
Although I pretended to be annoyed when my husband told me not to over-exert myself, I really enjoyed feeling like a delicate flower at times, even though I am anything but. It's nice to remind someone to take it easy because, making a human being is hard work. She may roll her eyes and tell you she's fine but secretly she might appreciate the extra attention you're paying her condition.
8. "Did You Do Something Different With Your Hair?"
A lot of pregnant women find that their hair changes a little while they're uterus is occupied. Most of the time it thickens but sometimes it gets curlier or more straight. A safe compliment is simply "Your hair is looking really healthy lately, did you get a trim?" She'll chalk it up to all the prenatal pills she's popping and you, my friend, have just hit a home run with hormonal hermana in your life. Again though, be careful with over zealous compliments. They may be hormonal, but pregnant women aren't stupid.
9. "You Look Like You Have A Basketball Shoved Under Your Shirt."
Most women want to feel like their body looks exactly the same as it did before conceiving. The goal is to maintain your pre-baby physique but still grow a big, healthy baby. You can really give a gal a lift by telling her the old "You look like you have a basketball shoved under your shirt!" comment. Similarly, "I couldn't even tell you were pregnant from behind!" is nice. Your little compliment may help her feel like her body totally hasn't been taken over by an alien.
10. "Congratulations!"
I never got tired of hearing people tell me congratulations for being pregnant. You can't go wrong congratulating a woman and even asking her if this is her first, second, third is lovely. But that's where it ends. Don't offer your two cents on whether the second kid is so much harder and don't warn her to sleep while she can or any of the other notorious things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Just congratulate her and say something nice about how exciting having children is. Because it is, it's so exciting!
- By Monica Bielanko
For 29 things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman, visit Babble!
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