10 Ways to Get Your Groove Back After Having a Baby
Becoming a mom has been hands down the most amazing experience of my life.
That said, it has also been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Having a baby changes you in so many ways, and it happens so quickly that it can be easy to lose yourself a bit in the process. In those first six months postpartum I experienced a bit of an identity crisis because of this. I felt so firmly rooted in my new identity as a mother that I sort of neglected the other parts of myself that were also important, and I just didn't feel like myself anymore. Over time I figured out how to reconnect again with those parts of myself that I had missed and finally got my groove back. I thought I'd share some of the things that helped me in the hopes that they will help you too. Let's get that groove back, mamas!
1. Get back into a fitness routine
A big part of the reason I didn't feel like myself for so long postpartum was because my body looked and felt completely different and I didn't enjoy the same types of exercise that I did before having a child. I finally found a routine I love with a ballet barre/pilates/yoga style Barre3 class and it's made a huge difference. I feel strong and comfortable in my own skin again. Find a fitness routine that will work for you and get to it!
2. Treat yourself to a fun new outfit
For a while after having a baby, I struggled to figure out how to dress myself again and be stylish with the new requirements surrounding my new lifestyle as a mama. A lot of my wardrobe changed to become more practical, but treating myself to a fun, non-mom-centric outfit every now and again has helped me to feel like "me". I've always loved fashion and it feels good to have fun with it again.
3. Have a date night
As soon as you feel ready, get a sitter and head out on a date night with your partner. Babies can be all-consuming and it will feel good to reconnect with one another without distractions.
4. Change the subject
Talking about your child non-stop is an easy trap to fall into, and while I completely advocate surrounding yourself with friends and family that you can share with and get encouragement from, I would suggest making a conscious effort to change the subject every now and then. Not only will it be a nice change of pace for those around you, but it will force you to reconnect with other important things in your life.
5. Take some time to primp When you're a busy mom, most days "primping" means having enough time to put on real pants and throw your hair in a ponytail, but taking the time to actually spend time on your appearance will help you feel refreshed and more confident. It doesn't have to be an everyday type of thing - for me, I often don't get to do my hair or put on makeup until nap time, but no matter when it is, I always feel better after I spend a little time on myself.
6. Post a few non-kid photos on social media
It can be totally tempting to baby spam everyone on your social media platforms once you become a parent and I am just as guilty as the next mama - but consider changing it up every once in awhile with a pretty flower photo, snapshot of your lunch, or whatever else interests you. It will force you to get out of mom-mode for a moment and remember that while you like your baby most, you also like other things too.
Related: 35 baby names inspired by great American women
7. Spend time on a hobby
Hobbies aren't something that you typically have a ton of time for after becoming a parent, but every now and again try to squeeze in some time for the things you used to enjoy…even if it's only a half hour during nap time. This could be cooking, crafting, reading… whatever it is that you love. Just make the time to reconnect with your passions!
8. Go out with a friend
Just as date nights with your partner are important, so is time spent with friends. Sure, I see my friends during play dates with our kids, but it's not the same and the conversations are fragmented. A great time to head out can be right after you put your little one down for the night. Heading out for a late night happy hour or dessert can be a great way to sneak in time with friends and have some relaxing kid-free time.
9. Ask for help
I often found myself falling into the trap of thinking that I had to do everything for my baby by myself. It was like I felt I had something to prove…like I have to earn my mommy merit badge. But, once I asked for help and was able to breathe a little bit more, I started finding my groove again.
10. Write about it
I write all the time for my job, but it was journaling about the super private thoughts and feelings I was experiencing that really helped me to sort it all out. And gradually, over time, I started to feel like myself again. It wasn't all at once, but I got there and it felt good - and you'll get there too! I promise.
- By Lauren Hartmann
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