45 like Totally Random Things I Remember as a Child of the 80s
After writing a recent post on 15 things I'd never know if I weren't a Gen Xer, I came to realize that I'm some kind of Generation X genius. I mean, I could be the "Rain Man" of the Gen X set. Seriously, throw some quotes on the floor, I'll tell you who said them.
OK, that test may not work as well as it does with toothpicks in the movie.
Yes, I'm somewhat stuck in the '80s, and I kinda like it there. So I thought I'd share some of the most random stuff I remember as a bona fide member of one big, weird, unorganized cult, GEN X ...
1. Spending Saturday nights hoping beyond hope Charo would be the surprise guest on "The Love Boat" or somehow Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop would find themselves in an eerie episode of "Fantasy Island" where Shari was the puppet. (I know I'm not the only one who wished for that storyline.)
2. Playing with Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake and Polly Pocket before they got all slutty looking - and, of course, my favorite, Barbie, but she was always slutty looking.
3. Being on a waitlist for a Cabbage Patch Kid and not even being able to pick the one you wanted (bonus points if you remember its name -- mine was Mitzy Shirley - notice above, she had the dreaded short curly hair, but at least she had the illustrious double dimple).
4. Garbage Pail kids like Corey Apple, Adam Bomb or Sy Clops.
5. What it's like to eagerly await Casey Kasem counting down the weekly hits while hoping Bananarama, Debbie Gibson or The Bangles would take the No. 1 spot (and not being ashamed to admit it).
6. Random Super Friends like the Apache Chief, Plasticman, and Samurai.
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7. Asking your parents for Fashion Plates, Donny & Marie Barbies, 2XL, Transformers, a Speak 'n Spell, Barbie's Townhouse with the yellow elevator, and Weeble Wobbles.
8. Being able to recite (word for word) Airplane, Stand by Me, Grease, and anything by John Hughes.
9. Thinking Flash Gordon had the best special effects ever.
10. Knowing all the words to theme songs like: The Facts of Life, Silver Spoons, WKRP, Punky Brewster and Different Strokes.
11. Getting Troll dolls out of vending machines.
12. Getting a perm whether your hair was curly or not - and trying to mask the rotten egg smell with Aussie Scrunch Spray.
13. Spending countless hours playing Super Breakout, Missile Command, Adventure, Kaboom!, and later Super Mario, Paperboy, Punch-Out!, BurgerTime, and Zelda.
14. The orange (not blonde color Sun-In turned your hair unless you were already blonde and clearly didn't need it).
15. Wishing to be the 9th kid on "Eight Is Enough."
16. Having an actual family discussion about whether to get a VHS or a Betamax.
17. Jumping on the eyes of the alligator with Pit Fall Harry.
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18. That coffee-flavored sucking candy all elderly people had (before anything coffee flavored was considered cool).
19. Screaming, "Oh my God, the girl in Sleepaway Camp has a penis!"
20. What kind of G'news Gary Gnu shared.
21. Knowing Letterman was able to leap a capital T in a single bound.
22. Roller skating to anything by Journey, Chicago, Boston, Foreigner, or Air Supply when that wasn't considered retro.
23. Yuck Mouth, Inter-planet Janet, Time for Timer, "One to Grow On."
24. Seeing Alanis Morissette pop out of a locker to tell a joke in a mainstream show (ironic?).
25. Being fairly certain you would one day marry: Scott Baio, Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, River Phoenix, one of the Coreys, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Jason Bateman, Kirk Cameron, Matt Dillon, Ricky Schroder, or Tom Cruise.
26. The shirtless volleyball scene -- need I name the movie?
27. Seeing Eddie Murphy in a hot tub, a Gumby costume, or a Buckwheat wig.
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28. Believing you would one day make your own pink prom dress and wanting a friend like Duckie.
29. Ed Grimly's favorite talk show host and the instrument he played.
30. Thinking life as an adult was like Dallas or Dynasty and wondering why your parents weren't cool like that.
31. The floor of your closet having one or all of these: Reebok high tops, Avias, Tretorns, K-Swiss, Keds, shoe boots, Justins, Dan Posts, Doc Martens.
32. That only Big Bird used to be able to see Snuffleupagus.
33. Knowing that puffy stickers, fuzzy stickers, or stickers with gel in them were way more valuable than flat ones, even if they were scratch-and-sniff.
34. Being willing to fight to the death over the claim that Joey McIntyre was the cutest New Kid on the Block.
35. Getting excited to see Trolley on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, because you knew what that meant.
36. Screw Captain Kangaroo, who remembers Mr. Green Jeans?
37. Being able to spend the entire day outside with no way for your parents to contact you (and that being OK).
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38. Going to a drive-in. (My first was Thank God It's Friday. What were my parents thinking?)
39. Having to get up to turn the television channel or adjust the bunny ears.
40. Liking Hello Kitty before it was considered retro.
41. Finding any guy whose family had a Trans-Am or its cousin, the Firebird, to be the hottest guy ever -- bonus if he had a mullet.
42. The exact moment DJs became VJs.
43. Having a closet that included Farlows, EGs, ID number shirts, CP Shades, oversized Champion sweatshirts in day-glo colors, Guess jeans, Polos and iZods with the collars turned up, parachute pants, Jams, Skidz, velour, men's boxers, OP shorts, Z Cavaricci pants, and Gasoline jeans with conductor stripes on one side.
44. Being pretty sure you could moonwalk almost as well as Michael Jackson.
45. Being a latchkey kid
It's funny, though I've managed to store all this 80s knowledge, I can't seem to remember doctor's appointments, people's names, or what I had for breakfast. I'm thinking my wealth of useless childhood trivia is somehow taking up the space reserved for that stuff. You too?
What is the most random thing you remember from the '80s?
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Jenny Isenman AKA Jenny From the Blog, is the humorist behind The Suburban Jungle.com. An on air lifestyle expert and mom of 2, her work has been published in numerous national magazines and websites. you can also check out her musings on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest
