7 Crazy Labor Stories that May Make You Rethink Getting Pregnant
In honor of Labor Day, we thought we're bringing you crazy labor stories. Labor stories that just might make you rethink having that baby.
Kidding.
Kind of.
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Here are 7 crazy labor stories from our staff writers. Seriously, some of these ladies deserve a medal for what they've been through!
My Husband Almost Passed Out! -- Jeanne
When I decided to get an epidural, the anesthesiologist asked my husband to help me hold still (not easy when you're contracting!). He took one look at the needle and almost passed out. I had to tell him to buck up, this is going into MY spine, not yours! Sheesh. When I went into labor with Julian, my 4-year-old, Charlotte, was at school. So the plan was for Eugene (their dad) to pick up Charlotte and wait for my mom to show up, then he would meet me at the hospital. So I'm waiting, and he's not showing up. Then he calls to tell me that Charlotte is screaming and crying because I'm at the hospital and she wants to come see me and my mother is just making the whole thing worse, saying, "Okay, of course we'll go see Mommy." Finally he shows up ... but THEN a little while later one of the nurses comes into the room with this look on her face and says, "Um, your mother and daughter were just here." And I start to freak out, and she's like, "Don't worry. I made them leave. Your mother thought they could just SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM until the baby was born. She didn't seem to understand that you wouldn't be ready to jump up and play with your daughter right away." Eugene and I were literally bitching about my mom while I was getting an epidural.
My Cervix Was "In Alaska" -- Jane*
So I was induced, right? First, there was the hunt for my cervix early on in the process ... these silly overnight physicians' assistants couldn't find it (seriously) when they were trying to give me some sort of balloon catheter type of thing before the Pitocin. It hurt more than labor -- it was horrid. The baby's head was in the way so it was really far up and over. My doctor later talked about "my cervix being in Alaska." It was ... uncomfortable to say the least. And then at the end, they couldn't get the placenta to come out. More reaching and yanking and ... I'll stop there.
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My Husband and I Got Gussied -- Catherine
My husband and I both "freshened up" before our daughter's arrival so we'd be ready for her first meeting. He was especially cute ... he changed his shirt into a nicer one!
I Did Something Super Embarrassing -- Mary
A couple funny things happened to me ... including crying like a baby and having the nurse yell at me after I told her I thought I'd peed on myself (it was amniotic fluid), and also farting uncontrollably in front of the super-hot anesthesiologist after he gave me the epidural. Mortifying ... but there was nothing I could do to control it!
I Almost Gave Birth in the Car! -- Cynthia
Not like I delivered on a bus or anything and not terribly dramatic. But. For my daughter, second child. When I called my doctor ON MY DUE DATE to say I was in labor, she said to hang out at home for a while, that it might not be. Not that I already went through excruciating labor the first time around for 21 hours and would know or anything. So when the contractions started coming, I went to the hospital, thank god, because I almost did deliver in the car had I waited much more. When I got there they called my doctor, and she didn't even make it. They asked me to "hold on," "don't push yet" while they had to pull some random other MAN doctor from another room delivering another woman's baby to basically come in and catch mine as she popped out because that's the rule or something, that a doctor had to deliver the baby. He was like HI! I'm so and so. Let me grab this baby from your vagina. Here you go. Kthanksbye. And he left and I never saw him again.
Oops! My Doctor Broke My Water by Accident -- Sheri
My doctor accidentally broke my water at my 38-week appointment. But long story short and an induced baby later, it turns out it wasn't even broken. It was just a bubble on the bag. By the way, once I was fully dilated (via Pitocin) and pushing, the nurse was all, "Wow, your water bags are still in tact. Not broken at all. No wonder you're in so much pain." Always a nice touch.
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They Gave Me the Wrong Baby! -- Julie
Julie pretty much has the craziest story of all (not diminishing any ones else's, but it's true!). Poor Julie was brought the wrong baby after she delivered her lovely baby girl. Here's a snippet of her insane tale:
Exhausted, sore, and drugged, I'm taken to recovery, and then after a few hours, I'm moved to my "real" room, where I wait for them to bring my daughter to me. I wait and wait for what seems like forever, and finally I see the nurse wheeling in a little bassinet. I'm so excited to look at, study, and hold her, to examine every inch of this beautiful girl that I've carried for the past 10 months. Tears well up in my eyes, and then the nurse says ... "Here he is!" HE? Surely she misspoke. I've had too many drugs. "What did you say?" I ask, as I look over that bassinet that sports an "I'm a boy" card. I'm too stunned to react beyond sputtering, "I had a girl; that's not my baby. Where is my baby?!" And then those tears of joy turn to terror and rage. The nurse gets flustered and leaves with this boy.
Told you. Insane. But don't worry, eventually her sweet baby girl made her way into her mama's arms.
Do YOU have a crazy labor story?
Image via koadmunkee/Flickr
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent!
Written by Nicole Fabian-Weber on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
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