Adult Children Who Depend on the Bank of Mom & Dad
If you're currently keeping your adult children afloat financially, or if you've done so recently, you are not only in good company, you are - wait for it - in the majority. In May of 2011, a whopping 59% of parents responding to an online poll commissioned by the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) in cooperation with Forbes.com reported that they're now supporting adult offspring who are no longer in school, or that they've done so in the past.
Write your relationship success story. Find 50+ Singles on BetterDate.com. Join Free Today!
The survey found that today's bleak fiscal landscape is the main reason that many of the younger generation are failing to launch. Yet while the tough job market and the global economic downturn are giving the kids a hard time, what's worse is that their neediness is draining the already dwindling nest eggs of their elders just when retirement is on the horizon. The NEFE web site posted an article about the survey results in which President and CEO Ted Beck notes what he calls the "disturbing trend" of parents making sacrifices beyond their means. He cites the following eye-opening statistics:
50% are providing housing.
48% are helping with living expenses.
41% are aiding with transportation costs.
35% are providing insurance coverage.
29% are handing out spending money.
28% are helping with medical bills.
"We all want to ensure the best for our children," Beck is quoted as saying. "But if you are taking on extra debt or delaying retirement to help your adult child, you could be making a mistake and putting your own financial future in jeopardy."
What's the solution? Follow these wise suggestions adapted by ThirdAge from SmartAboutMoney.org, a site that NAFE recommends:
Have a Little Talk
You may find discussing the situation difficult. If so that's probably because, like 43% of the survey respondents, you are "legitimately concerned" about your children's welfare. Even so, you really need to broach the subject and open up a dialogue. In all likelihood, your progeny are embarrassed and uncomfortable about being dependent on you. They'll no doubt welcome the chance to discuss options and strategies for getting on their feet.
Take a Hard Look at Your Financial Situation.
As painful as this may be, you're better off knowing exactly where you stand. If you have a trusted financial adviser, get his or her input and advice regarding whether or not you are putting your future at risk by helping your kids too extravagantly. Consider this: You could end up being a burden to them down the road unless they start pulling their weight now.
Make a Plan.
Be businesslike. Draw up a written contract and perhaps charge the kids a small interest rate. Create a spreadsheet and set goals and deadlines. If your kids simply can't find jobs commensurate with their expectations and skill sets, point out that they may need to fill the gap by working at whatever they can find, be it the classic "flipping burgers" solution or babysitting or mowing lawns or delivering groceries. Dreams may have to be deferred, but at least there won't be a huge resume gap and the kids will get points for industriousness if they do land an interview for a "real job."
The best of luck as you make every effort get your fledglings to fly own their own. You'll all be better off when they do exactly that.
Also Popular On ThirdAge:
10 Part Time Jobs for Retirees
Ways to Naturally Lower your Cholesterol
7 Things You Can Do to Build Strong Bones
