Adult Children: Still trapped by overbearing parents?

This is my first post. After months of reading (some really insightful) blogs on Shine, I thought I might put this out there to find out if any one can share this experience, and a few helpful suggestions, with me. Thanksgiving week has just past, and I have just been graced with a visit from my father. My parents visit me a few times a year since we live across the country from each other. Actually, my entire family lives across the country from me. Of me and my 2 sisters, I am the youngest and the only one that is not married (divorced). But, I'm 29 years old and have 2 children (ages 9 and 11). I've lived across the country for 10 years... I'm giving you this background to show that I'm not a 'baby' and have been fairing pretty well out here as an adult with children.

However, whenever my parents come to visit me, I am forced to revert back to the age of 19, how old I was when I left home. While I feel blessed with their visits, my home is no longer mine. It is my fathers as he feels he can throw away, add, or change whatever he pleases. For instance, his mission on this last week's visit was to throw away all my children's clothes and buy new ones. He also attempted to have blinds installed on 2 of the windows I purposely removed blinds from to have curtains. The last visit, he replaced my couch and had my house painted. All these things are blessings, of course. And I am whole-heartedly thankful for their provision.

The downside is, any discussion of how I want to pursue my career and/or if I plan to move is quickly shot down. Also, dating or serious relationship talk is dismissed. One year, I told my mother I'd like to have more children and she quickly responded "you're not going to have more children." If I argue, my parents give me a silent treatment. And, this is extrememe, but since we live so far apart, those silent treatments have lasted over years. I feel I should be able to discuss these types of life-changing decisions with my parents as to not catch them by surprise one day with a major move or (gasp) marriage.

What are your thoughts? Is there anyone out there with the same types of issues or am I being ungrateful with (sometimes over-caring) parents? If you can relate, what do you do to defend your adulthood?