Aries (March 21 - April 19) What do you call a fake stone today? A sham rock! There's no doubt you will have a real need for some sort of physical outlet today. Rather than listening to your little tyke's St. Patrick's Day jokes, get out and enjoy some exercise.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) What do you call a bad Irish dance? A jig mistake! If left to their own devices, your tykes won't get in step with the holiday. It's up to you to take charge and plan some fun and engaging activities, so let them follow your lead.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) What's missing from your Irish stew? A pinch of Gaelic! Today, you will find that you know just how to find the missing step or ingredient to make any project a success. The key is to stop dithering and put that idea into action.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) What's big and purple and lies next to Ireland? Grape Britain! You're in such a good mood today, and proud of your baby's many, many accomplishments. Even if today all they do is tell the oldest St. Patrick's Day groaners in the world!
Leo (July 23 - August 22) How come you can't borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they're always a little short! Today, you'll be as keen as your little one to enjoy the holiday fun -- even their bad jokes. You're willing to act where others hold back.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) What is Barney's favorite thing on St. Patrick's Day? The Barney Stone! Don't be too surprised if today you find yourself indulging in some just plain silliness with your little one. You'll both have a great ride home from daycare because of it.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) How can you tell if your St. Patrick's Day joke is a hit? Everyone is Dublin over with laughter! This is a wonderful day to take pleasure in what you have created. Namely the greatest baby around -- with the biggest repertoire of bad jokes.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) What kind of music do leprechauns like? Shamrock 'n roll! Even though you might have to bring work home or otherwise demonstrate your commitment, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the holiday. Lighten up and enjoy your little one's jokes.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck! Let a smile be your umbrella. Your positive attitude will shield you and your little one from any negativity today and possibly bring good fortune your way.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato? When it's a French fry! Your little one's fascination with dumb seasonal jokes may get on your nerves big time. But by day's end you will have regained your sense of humor and accomplished a great deal.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? Because they're always wearing green! Today, you are very much concerned with expanding your baby's creative horizons. Help them celebrate the spring holiday through their attire and art projects.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Knock, knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day! There may be too much going on for you to enjoy yourself. But by day's end you'll be in the swing and do everything in your power to help your little one have fun.
Former New York Yankees left-hander Fritz Peterson died at the age of 82. He is probably best known exchanging wives with teammate Mike Kekich in the 1970s.
Fantasy baseball analyst Andy Behrens offers up a series of pickups to assist every manager, starting with a duo of Rockies ahead of a Colorado homestand.
