Bully-Proofing Your Kids: You May Be The Bully!

I think we can all relate to being bullied or perhaps, being the bully, at some point in our lives. We tend to think picking on the little kid, the quiet kid or the different kid is just part of childhood. And regardless what experts say, I think it is and will continue to be. It's not going away, so we might as well be prepared as both parents and as kids.

Do you know who the biggest bully can be in a child's life? His or her parents! The way we speak to our kids, or hustle them along, or bark commands, has a direct impact on how they interact with their peers. Most of the time a bully is being bullied by someone.

I attended a workshop earlier this week, hosted at a local elementary school, about bully-proofing your kids. Interestingly enough the bully and the victim aren't the only one being negatively affected. The bystander who witnesses the bullying can be more deeply affected than the actual victim. They're usually scared to get involved (out of fear of becoming the victim) and they feel guilty for not speaking up on behalf of the victim. It's a double whammy. You've probably experienced this in your adult life. I had a boss once who would belittle his employees in front of the whole group. It humiliated everyone. (He was awful!)

You can begin bully-proofing your child at an early age - it can start as early as four-years-old. Things like modeling clear boundaries, teaching your child to resolve conflict peacefully, teaching "I messages," teaching how to deflect teasing and problem-solving can help them tremendously.

I'll be writing a series about bully-proofing based on some of the tips I learned. Please stay tuned to Shine for my first article, Deflecting Teasing. Hope this helps all of us!