C-Sections: One Mom Says, "I want support, not pity!"
Maybe I am just being hormonal… but if one more person gives me their pity or expresses their sadness for my upcoming c-section in May, I just may blow a gasket.
Just a little back story of my birth history with my children, I have had two c-sections but not because I wanted them. With my first I was induced for a medical issue, or so I was under the impression from my OB/GYN. When it came time for my second son, I tried for a VBAC with a midwife in my state I knew I had an awesome chance of succeeding with. Over 26 hours into the ordeal my son came into this world by emergency cesarean. We tried everything humanly possible to get him out without having to go into surgery, and it was an upsetting experience to everyone involved. From myself, to my husband who worked to support me amazingly, to my midwife, and doula.
More on Babble: Choosing a C-Section: My Fear, My Anger, My Empowerment
In the days and weeks following his delivery, I had a hard time dealing with the title on his birth: failed VBAC attempt. It played in my mind, it was in my dreams, thoughts and ultimately aided in a serious case of postpartum depression. When I got pregnant this time around, it took me almost 9 full weeks to pick a prenatal care provider because I knew there aren't many in the area that would support me going into labor on my own despite the changes to the recommendations regarding women with two previous c-sections who would like to attempt a vaginal delivery.
I interviewed four providers. One OB/GYN who is famous in my area for supporting VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans), one home birth midwife, one hospital birth midwife practice, and a high risk Perinatologist I was referred to. None of who I felt comfortable with. Comfort was a big factor.
I continued to tote my medical records, surgical reports and my emotions all over the state, and ultimately, I went back to my midwife I trusted with my care during my last pregnancy and delivery. After hours of discussion, questions on her professional opinion, which I take very seriously as she has been doing this for 30 years in various settings including home birth, and birth centers, I knew that the best option for myself, and our third child would not be a trial of labor, or an attempt at a VBA2C.
I knew at that moment, I would have to do months of research on my own to make my experience of a third c-section much more pleasant than my previous two were, but the one difference I would have this time around would be the planning factor. I would have the control to say what would make me more comfortable, and what kind of medications, or treatment I did not want during the delivery.
More on Babble: 5 VBAC Myths Debunked
Then I was faced with the judgment.
How could someone so active in the natural childbirth community, especially the VBAC community actually be electing to have a c-section? Easy! I wasn't electing, I was planning a medically necessary cesarean delivery for the health, and safety, of myself and my daughter.
I want to have an empowered delivery, a delivery I know that I made the choice to have, and can be in control of. I am going to be empowered by this birth, and I am going to show women everywhere that you CAN be empowered by a c-section on your own terms!
To read more about this mother's struggle with VBACs, visit Babble.
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