Calling All Moms: What Do You Feel Most Judged About?
By Charlotte Hilton Andersen,REDBOOK
My baby was a week old the first time it happened. I was walking (read: hobbling) through the grocery store with my newborn when an elderly woman next to me gasped loudly. "Where are that baby's socks?!" she shrieked as if I had done her personal harm. "What kind of mom are you? She's going to get sick!" I was so surprised I didn't correct her to say that my baby was a boy (Note to self: There are no gender neutral colors. Blue is for boys and everything else is for girls.) Nor did I point out that it was 95 degrees out and both my baby and I were sporting an attractive sweaty sheen.
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When I tell my friends this story, most of them tell me I was lucky to have a whole week of bliss before my first Public Judging. "For me, it was just minutes after my baby was born. When I told the nurse that I didn't even want to try breastfeeding because we were planning on using formula you would have thought I announced there was a bomb in my diaper bag," said one friend who still doesn't want me to use her name even though that baby is now six, because breastfeeding can be that contentious of an issue. "Hah," another friend chimed in, "You think that was bad, you should have heard the reaction I got when I was pregnant and told everyone we were planning a home birth."
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Whether it's a small thing like socks or larger issues like your decision to homeschool, it can feel like the simple fact of having children opens us up to a whole new realm of public scrutiny. In an effort to help all moms feel more normal and accepted, let's open up about what we feel judged about and agree to give all moms a break.
What do you feel most judged for? - Not being as strict as other moms - Disciplining my kids more than other moms - The way I dress my kids - Feeding my kids fast food or take-out - The amount of screen time I give my kids - Having a full-time job outside the house - Drinking in front of the kids - Swearing occasionally in front of the kids - Having a messy home - Not volunteering enough (or at all) at my kids' school or daycare
Vote here to tell us how you feel most judged and then chime later this month when announce the results.
Read more of Charlotte on REDBOOK's The Motherboard blog.
Charlotte Hilton Andersen is a mom of 5 and the author of the book The Great Fitness Experiment: One Year of Trying Everything and the blog of the same name.
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