Can I Kick My Adult Child Out of the House?
By: Dr. Janet Taylor, genConnect.com
Can you kick your adult kids out of the house? Now we live in a time where as parents we've raised our children, they've gone to school, gone to work and even come back home. So we're faced with this dilemma of, especially mothers who are always mothers, do I nurture these kids? Do I have a place for them? Or it's time to push them out of the nest?
Now we're at a time when our adult parents have parents who are living longer; so there's this sandwiched generation. They're taking care of their older parents and then their adult children come back home. It can be a strain financially, it can be a strain emotionally. There's this real conflict: Do I still actually love my children if I'm telling them I liked my space as an empty nester? Do I want them home anymore?
So to answer the question: Can I kick my adult kids out? Absolutely! You can kick your adult kids out. And sometimes that's the only way to do it. It can be gradual, where you can sit down and say, listen, we agree that you could come back here so you could save some money, get restarted, or you've gotten divorced, you're having a hard time at work, have lost your job. What's the timetable? Are you going to live here six months? Are you going to live here a year? Eighteen months? We can support each other in other ways, but you really can't live here.
So I think it really depends on the relationship that you have with your adult children -- remembering they're adults even though they're your children. The reality is that at some point we raise our children so they can be self-actualized, independent and really take care of themselves. Sometimes you have to push them away or say, that's it. No more. Otherwise, they will stay there for a long, long time.
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About the Author:
Dr. Janet Taylor is a Clinical Instructor of Psychiatry at Columbia University affiliated Harlem Hospital. She is part of the LLuminari Expert Network, Contributing Editor BeWell.com, Psychiatrist in Private Practice, Board Chair of the National Black Women's Health Imperative, and a contributor to O, The Oprah Magazine.
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