Crabmommy: The mom-flap challenge

Glamour Magazine
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Photo Credit: Getty Images

If you have one, keep reading; if you don't, go away. We don't want your kind here.

I'm talking about the "mom-flap." Or more precisely, that small midriff tire of extra chunk that the blessing of a baby bestows on the mother. I've blogged about this before. Because while I'm not a big girl and I didn't change completely post-baby, I definitely gained something more than just a bundle of joy: I gained a rim of chub around the midsection. Sometimes I call it my blog-flap, and sure, my sedentary work life doesn't help matters of the midsection...but the main reason I have a pillowy waistline goes back almost 4 years to the arrival of Crabtot. And almost 4 years later, I don't think I can continue to dismiss the marshmallow midriff as "a little extra baby weight."

I first noticed my mom-flap during the highly unusual occasion of my attending a yoga class. I did a sitting twist and realized that I had to physically regroup my mid-chunk in order to properly complete the pose. Not cool. Of course, at the time, I resolved to deal with the problem constructively, and I did: I stopped going to yoga.

But today is the day when I vow anew to dissolve the mom-tire. With your help, ladies. I need at least 5 of you to sign on with me and pledge to work on your respective mom-flaps. Let's say 5 minutes a day. Yes, some of you hyper-fit mommies are laughing at me but I've got 2 words for you (or 1 hyphenated one, actually): C-section. Oh indeedy, for some of us with very little in the way of stomach muscles, 5 minutes of unadulterated abdominal toning will feel like 5 solid years of biathlon training. Over an open fire. While being poked with a giant red-hot stick.

I've never been very good at motivating myself to be fit. I always have a fitness plan, but it starts tomorrow, next month, next year. As a result, I haven't done one single sit-up since having Crabtot. Which brings me to the 5-minute challenge. I don't believe that with a 5-minute exercise routine I will be able to go from the Mommy one-piece suit back to the bikini, much less au naturel. That said, I think 5 minutes a day would do something. And something is better than nothing.

So, dear virtual mom-friends, I ask you to sign up for the Crabmommy Mom-Flap Challenge. Put your name in the comments and take a vow with me to spend 5 minutes on your abs, 5 days a week, doing whatever it is that you think you need to do to work those sleepy muscles again. Once I have 5 takers, I will begin my exercises and we can check back in after a week and see who's on top of their game. Without the group to motivate, I can't promise I'll stick to my promise. Because I'm the kind of girl who needs serious encouragement to make things happen. I'm the kind of girl who could, in other words, really use Xtina Aguilera's trainer; failing that, I'm looking at you.

So, please, join me. My abs depend on your participation.

Are you in?

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