Do you have as many children as you dreamed of?

There seems to be a little baby boom among my friends and I love it, not just because of all the delicious baby cheeks begging to be kissed but also because of what it means my women-friends are thinking about. As we all get closer to 40, some of the women I know have questioned whether they will ever have children, others have questioned whether they should have more. While some women I know are very set and happy with the families they have (whether those include kids or partners or friends), there's definitely some scrambling going on to have babies.

I don't judge -- I'm one of those women debating whether or not I should another child. I am considering how and when to have a baby in part because I don't have that "complete" feeling yet about my family and in part because I always dreamed of having a raucous, happy house full of kids.

You might not guess that now if you were inside the home I now share with my 6-year-old son. We have dance parties and laugh uncontrollably sometimes, but it's a lot calmer and quieter than the vision I once had. My single son is enough and if he is the only child I ever had, my heart and life will be very full.

Still, having another child, would be a great gift...to us both. It's not the FOUR children I once thought I'd mother but it might just add a bit of that crazy I once craved to the home we now have. I'm OK releasing that fantasy of the woman-in-her-20s -- who also thought she'd be married forever, would own a giant vintage home in the middle of the city, would figure out a way to make a zillion dollars, and would certainly have twins -- but I'm not sure I am willing to compromise it all away. Just yet.

What about you? Did you once dream of having a big crew of kids? Or were you sure you'd never have them?

Has that changed or did you make those fantasies a reality? What got in the way of those plans?




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